sunflowery's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Friday Entry It's Friday...Yay! This morning I awoke to a winter wonderland of wet, heavy snow...upwards of 6 inches overnight with more throughout the day today. It's to be expected...it's March, the month of tournaments. We always get snow in March. Thankfully, it doesn't last long. Last night's snow was wet, thick and heavy, but it coated everything nicely, like a sweet confectioner's frosting. Mmmm. Good enough to eat. Driving to work was a little harder than I expected...the roads were really icy under the snow. Yesterday, I saw 2 car accidents after the fact. One was viewed from my window high atop a local interstate system. There were at least 4 cars involved and before it was all over, there were 4 police cars on the scene, as well as paramedics, fire rescue, tow truck, and a highway helper. On the way home, I saw a car wrapped around a telephone pole. The driver seemed to be OK, but there were more police, rescue units and helpers there as well. The weird thing is that yesterday there was no snow, no rain, no ice, nothing that could hamper the regular driving of good drivers. But on a day like today...that is when you really expect to see accidents like the ones witnessed yesterday. It's the Friday Five! What was... 1. ...your first grade teacher's name? This is hard. I had 2 and I don't remember either one of their names. I do remember my Kindergarten teacher's name, Mrs. Plefke. And all teacher's names from 2nd grade (Mrs. Way) on up. 2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon? Right now it's Kim Possible. When I was little I liked Bugs Bunny and Scooby Doo. 3. ...the name of your very first best friend? Right now, Superhusband. In college, Jen Garmoe. In high school and middle school, May Knoble. In jr. high, Amy Kalitzke. In grade school, we moved too much. 4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal? When I was little, Cheerios. Now, Kashie or Special K. 5. ...your favorite thing to do after school? In grade school, play or ride my bike. Later, read or watch TV or work. That's it kids. Not alot going on except for snow watching. Enjoy your weekend. -------------------------------------- A Year Ago Today: March 05, 2003 "B" is for Bravado and Blood Tests Today's "B" Entry Sponsored by Alphabytes. Bravado is a good word for today because I feel like I am faking my way through the day today. My husband had a 4:15pm doctor's appointment yesterday. He got home at 6:30pm. He was there that whole time. They think there might be something wrong with his kidneys. He is retaining upwards of 30 extra pounds of fluid in his body. His feet, ankles, and other appendages have been taking turns swelling and puffing out. The fluid pushes on his lungs when he lays down to sleep, making it very difficult to breath. I feel so bad for him. I wish I could do something to make him feel better. In a way, I am. I work full time at a job that provides me with pretty good medical benefits, which have been extended to my husband. So, he went to the doctor yesterday with full medical benefits! Yay! Anyway, they took a gallon of blood and are running a battery of tests to see if the problem is with his kidneys, as they suspect. There may also be a hernia...but they want to get the bloating and swelling down first, before they look further into anything else. Scary, scary stuff. I read a story last week about a man who had a kidney transplant. His wife said he was cold all the time. They said that they knew the transplant went well when he could go to bed and not need to be covered up to keep warm. My husband is always cold. Our heat is turned up to 78 degrees right now and he still needs a blanket when he is sitting out in the living room. It takes him a long time to warm up when he is cold. I don't know why I remember that article the way I do, but when SB (Sweet Baboo) says he is cold, now that I know the doctors are looking at possible kidney problems, it freaks me out. I am acting brave. Putting on the false bravado. I am "fine". Things are "good". Paste a smile on and go about my day. All the while wondering if we got SB to the doctor in time...will he be OK? After last year's doctor-go-round, I hope we don't have to go through that again. But I will be brave for him and I will be brave for me. Quaking on the inside and yet putting on the stiff upper lip. I have to say though that SB is brave. He faces all of this with determination to bear it, beat it and get better. He is truly my hero. After last year and the MD diagnosis, I am afraid that everyone around us is sick to death of our health issues. SB is tired of answering the "how are you?" questions. He's in pain. His muscles are degenerating. There is no cure. And now, his kidneys may be a big problem. For him, there really is no "fine". There is "little pain" and "much pain". I have begun to hate the "how are you?" question. When I hear it asked, I go into auto pilot and just say fine. It's the easy answer. It's all they really want to hear anyway. We are fine. SB is fine. I am fine. The rest of the stuff is for our 4 walls at home and this space in my diary. I also saw the doctor yesterday. My doctor wants to do one more test on me. I can't remember the name of is, but I think it starts with an "H" and ends with a "scan". I will know on Thursday when my test has been scheduled for. Sorry this entry isn't as positive and bright and shiny as some. But It's what's real to me. Thanks for reading. --------------------------------------- About A Year Ago Today: March 06, 2003: "C" is for Caress and Caffinated Control (or lack thereof) Today's entry brought to you by Alphabytes and the letter "C" for... ca*ress A gentle touch or gesture of fondness, tenderness, or love. tr.v. ca*ressed, ca*ress*ing, ca*ress*es 1.)To touch or stroke in an affectionate or loving manner. 2.)To touch or move as if with a caress: soft music that caressed the ears. 3.)To treat fondly, kindly, or favorably; cherish. I want to write about how I met my husband and how I knew he was the man for me. I was 32...about 10 years past the age I thought I would be when I finally got married. I placed a VERY specific ad on an Internet dating website. I learned to write what you are looking for, not what you don't want. I still heard from a bunch of freaks. Men who were already married, but wanted a 2nd wife. Men who did not believe in God, but did not care that I did. Men who wanted a nice Christian girl but who were not nice Christian men. I gave up, thinking all I did was sink a bobber into the river of weirdoes and losers. I didn't cut bait though. I had a 1-year membership, so I just left it up and forgot about it. Several months later I received a reply from a very nice, seemingly normal man who lived nearby. He was the first man who claimed to believe as I did and the first who lived in the same area. We corresponded for a few weeks and I grew to look forward to his daily emails. After a while we exchanged phone numbers and spoke in the evenings on the phone. He was very nice, somewhat soft-spoken and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. He was the first man who didn't ask me for a photo. He was also the first man who didn't run away screaming when I mentioned that I am a woman of larger size. We made a date. We set it up for October 2nd. We were going to go out to dinner and then see what happened after that. But I was anxious and couldn't wait. I knew that he was an assistant manager of a metro area gas station and worked the overnight shift. I was bored and decided to drive to that gas station and check him out. I got there and it was pretty busy. I browsed around a bit and when he was free, I introduced myself. It took him a minute to realize who I was and he says now that it crossed his mind then that I was stalking him. We began to talk and ended up talking throughout his entire shift! I stayed there for 8 hours talking and listening to this fascinating man. We agreed to keep our date and 2 days later we met for dinner. He brought me flowers and was so sweet and kind. After dinner we wanted to go to a park or something to keep the conversation flowing, but it was cool and rainy. So we decided to go to a nearby college and hang out in one of their many student lounges. We found 2 seats and sat down to continue our conversation. While we were talking, I must have been absent-mindedly rubbing his hand. I have a proclivity to touch and fidget and rub when nervous. After a while, he deliberately picked up my hand and began to caress it so softly and gently. I looked up in surprise and asked him why he was doing that. He said that it felt so good when I did it to him that he wanted to make me just as wonderful. I was dumbfounded! No one had ever treated me so kindly or been so deliberately thoughtful. It was the start of the spark that ignited my love for him. A simple caress. He has continued to be as genuine and thoughtful since then. Often I feel like I am not as thoughtful towards him, but he disagrees. We are trying to outdo the good we do to one another. On to other things. I knit a scarf! I did it! Last night we learned the purl stitch. Now I am knitting a scarf with the knit stitch and the purl stitch! I also learned to decrease and increase and to W&T (I forget what that means though). I am a knitter! I got a pattern and some yarn to make my husband some slippers. That is quite the project. The next knitting class is learning to make a sweater! It's $50, but I am hoping we can scrape that together as that is what I really want to make. Yippee! I had an interesting dream last night. I dreamed I was at my 20-year class reunion and was actually having a good time. Which completely surprised me because I did not have a good time in high school. The weird thing is that there were other people at this reunion...people from my past that didn't go to high school with me. So it was more like an Amy's life reunion. Anyway, I was having fun but had to use the bathroom. So I excused myself, went to the bathroom and when I came back, everyone was gone. I felt so rejected and played. I just went back to my parents' house and went to bed. The next day we all met up again for some kind of breakfast thing and I asked them where they had all gone and they said the moved the party to TGIFridays. I asked why they didn't wait for me and they said they thought I was there until they got the restaurant and then no one knew how to reach me. They all felt bad and I felt like I missed out on something great. I woke up with that feeling...it kind of sucks. I tried to give up caffeine for lent. Tried being the operative word. It's a daily battle now. I just have to get through 1 day before I can strive for 40. I lack the self-control fruit of the spirit. Thanks for reading.
9:57 a.m. - Friday, Mar. 05, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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