sunflowery's Diaryland Diary

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Still Sick and Friday Five

I am home sick today. The flu got me. My head feels like it's filled with mucus, my muscles and joints are still so achey. I come home from work last night and went straight to bed. As did Supe. We both have the crud. Blech. I hate being home sick, especially when I know today is going to be busy with lots of catching up and taking lots of "um, I know tax day was yesterday, but I forgot..." phone calls.

I can't believe how many people procrastinate in regards to their taxes. I took tons of calls from bankers with customers who were there to open an IRA that day and one from a banker who had customers there who wanted to open and IRA, but had too much to put into it. So, they were going to call their CPA to try and figure out what they should do. Nothing like having a plan on tax day. I took about 90-100 calls yesterday. Less the day before, but still around 80. I wish I felt better so I could be there to help. I feel like I've let the team down. Though they all knew I was sick...still, I could have played hurt. But oh, the bed feels so good today! So firm and snuggly with warm covers. Mmmmmm, bed!

I watched my tape of American Idol. I can't tell you how happy I am that Hobbit John/Jon is gone! Now we just need to get rid of Red and the show will really be cooking. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of Red, but he is no American Idol.

I love mid/end of season replacements. Monday brings The Restaurant! Yay! Roco and more drama! I hate midseason reruns because I never know when to start tuning in again. I almost missed the newest Gilmore Girls and Supe did end up missing the newest Smallville. Oh well, it's only TV, so no big deal.

It's Friday, so that means: Friday Five

1. What do you do for a living? I work as a back office service rep for bankers who sell our annuity products.

2. What do you like most about your job? The company I work for is great. I also like the people I work with and the skills I am building.

3. What do you like least about your job? Dealing with bankers who are too lazy to do their job and insist that I do it for them...but then they earn the commission and bonuses.

4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____...I wasn't able to help someone or because I let a banker get to me.

5. What other career(s) are you interested in? Radio, writing, motherhood.

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A Year Ago Today: April 16, 2003 My Annual Review and Wondering About Pregnancy Today is cold and rainy. We needed the rain as itís been 3 weeks since weíve received any precipitation. Itís almost noon and itís only 35 degrees outside. Brrr!

I had my annual review yesterday. It went OK. Better than last year and I actually had a good talk with CM and SM. So, Thatís an upper, for sure.

Yesterday was nice, but not as nice as the day before. On the way home, I stopped and got dome dinner from KFC. I love their honey boneless chicken wings right now. Sweet Baboo and I had a little picnic on our patio before the storm came in. We had our first spring thunderstorm and while it was not severe in our area, it was still neat to see the lightning and hear the thunder off in the distance. Mmmmmm storms!

I am a book junkie. I just joined another book club just to get the 6 free books. I am bad! But where else can you get 6 of the newest and hottest releases in Christian fiction for free. Books are 12 to 20 bucks a pop...even for the soft covers. I only have to buy 3 more over the next 2 years and can do that easily even with my membership in the other book club. I am so bad. But I am loving getting back into reading.

I just finished Michael J. Foxís memoirs. It was a good read. Kind of liberal politically in some parts, but I understand where the guy is coming from. I admire his frankness and courage in sharing his story. There were lots of similarities between his story and my husbandís. Different circumstances and diseases, but the same outcomes and ways of relating and coming to terms with the truth of it all.

I also just finished a novel called Jane Austen in Boca. Very cute book. It is loosely based on Austenís, "Pride & Prejudice" but takes place in a Boca Raton retirement community. Itís a fast read, the characters are charming and I really liked it, though I do not relate to the retired Jewish set. I do recommend it though.

Now I am reading Dave Barryís newest novel called "Tricky Business". It is funny and has a good plot so far, but I do not get into the language he uses. I understand heís "keeping it real" by using the language the underbelly of society makes common every day. However, after reading the Boca novel, which only merely even hinted at sexual relations, this book, is a little rawer. Oh well, reading is FUN! And 6 more novels are on the way to my lovely home! Woo hoo!

OK...now this may sound weird. Last night I was sitting on the couch watching American Idol (You should be too! Clay is just too cute and is my pretend TV boyfriend.) when this feeling of pure joy, excitement and bliss just rolled over me. It was short but it was sweet. I did not know what it meant and thought that maybe my antidepressant was kicking in some overtime. But as I sat there and thought about it, I actually had the presence of mind to briefly pray about it and wondered what it could mean.

OK...this is the weird part. I do not know for sure. But I felt like God was saying that it was a confirmation that I am pregnant. I had been wondering if I was because Iíve been so tired and a couple of mornings brought some nausea. But I also have this sinus infection and that wipes me out and the nausea could be from the build up of mucus from the infection. But Itís true.

So, Iíve been asking God if I could in fact, be pregnant. I was afraid to take a test because every other time it has always been negative and I hate that feeling of disappointment. I have been praying that God would give me the OK to go ahead and take the test.

So, I was thinking that that feeling was Godís OK to get a test.

Hereís the thing. I did not have any cash to get one. None. And now that Iíve put yet another book clubís delivery fees on my credit card, I didnít think it wise to add a pregnancy test to that balance. So Iím sitting here at my desk telling God that I canít get a pregnancy test because I have no cash.

An hour later, an agent walks in and gives me $10 because a lead I gave her turned into actual business for her! So, now I have the money to go get the test. I am still afraid of the negative result and the feelings that go along with that.

I want to be pregnant for so many reasons! I have always wanted to be a mommy. On my way home from work last night I was thinking about posting a notice in our apartment building to do daycare in our home. Our apartment building is LOADED with kids, young and old. And I am sure there are people who haul their little ones all over and would be glad to have someone in the building watch their kids. I had it all planned out until I remembered, Itís my job that supplies us with healthcare. DOH! When I told Sweet Baboo what I had been thinking, he said he had been thinking the same thing the other day and made the same realization. So, maybe God is moving us in that direction...but we are kind of nervous about losing the health care thing.

Anyway, all of this to say, we trust God with the outcome no matter what, but we really want to be parents. And we want to be foster parents and/or adoptive parents too...parents who make a difference.

I was just thinking that it would be such a testimony of Godís amazing healing powers after SBís big health scare to bless us with a pregnancy/baby right now. Of course I try not to jump to conclusions...I will take it as it comes. My cycle is set to begin on Friday, so maybe Itís too soon to test.

On a totally not related note...they found a womanís body washed up on the shores north of Modesto. They wonder if it could be Lacey Peterson. They said the body was badly decomposed and was missing its head. Then they found the body of an infant still attached to its umbilical cord about a mile north. Who else could they be but Lacey and her infant son? The news people kept calling the baby a fetus...but hello! It was the body of a baby boy. How truly sad.

9:38 a.m. - Friday, Apr. 16, 2004
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