sunflowery's Diaryland Diary

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Last Day of June

Last night we had a work event at a conference center in Chaska. It was beautiful there and the weather couldn't have been better. But the bugs were horrible!

I always like getting together with my co-workers outside of work. I enjoy my co-workers immensely. Last night I also got to meet some of our bankers and trainers from the 23 states we service. We had a great meal...of course. While everyone loaded up their plates with corn on the cob, pasta salad with artichoke hearts, baked beans, green salad, fruit, hot dogs, hamburgers, and grilled chicken, I had a spoon of potato salad, a few baked beans, some cheese from the pasta salad and I cut up a portion of the grilled chicken. It all went down well, but I think I ate too fast as I did have repercussions. But overall, it went well. And I was able to answer 800 gabillion questions about my surgery and my life since. Always nice to break out of the rumor mill and get the info from the horse's mouth.

After dinner there was volleyball. I did not play, but as the event's unofficial photographer, I did manage to get some awesome action shots.

I left around 8:20 as I was sick of being a buffet for the local misquitos. Got home, uploaded the photos from my digital camera to Snapfish and hit the showers. I was in bed by 11 and asleep by 11:03. Thanks, mostly to the skilled hands of my non-professional massaging husband. Best backrubber around, IMHO.

Today was a good day, for the most part. Got to work early so I could fix the photos for public viewing. (My work computer is on DSL while my home is dial-up.)

At lunch we all met with my boss's boss's boss. (Suffice it to say he's the BIG whig.) We had pizza and while I did OK, it wasn't great. I mean, I had a good amount...but pizza is hard to chew small enough to get through the new stomach. So, a little bit of problems, but not too bad. Met the BIG whig, got some questions answered and all was good.

Also, I signed up for schooling to get my insurance license. I should have had it before taking the job, but they needed someone so bad that they hired me on the contingent I would get licensed. Aug 1st marks my one year anniversary here so I thought I'd better get in gear. But with so many people taking vacations and out at this time of year, I was not able to schedule the class until the end of August. I will take my test the first week of September and hopefully pass to get my Insurance license. Then, I will be eligible to get my series 7 and 66! Yikes! I am looking forward to it though...don't let my cheesy editing fool you.

The big MDA 5K walk is coming up on July 10th. I will be walking and Bob will be riding his wheel chair. We are raising money for MDA for research, to send kids with MD to camp, and other assorted wonderful things. This will be my first 5K ever. I am really looking forward to it. So far, we have only raised $20.00 ourselves, but I hope to encourage more people to either walk or donate. Hope the weather is nice that day. Can't wait!

No big plans for the 4th. I have off on the 5th, but Bob has a neurology appt that day, so no sleeping in or laying about. We will see fireworks at Sandcreek park in Coon Rapids (hello stalkers!) They always have a little street fair with food, rides and games. Bob and I like to try our "luck" at the games and usually come away with those cheesy stuffed animals they give you as prizes. But it's a lot of fun. We bring a blanket and I bring books or knitting and a radio and we just hang out and enjoy the day.

So, that's my boring life in a nutshell today. Enjoy!

PS...the year ago today entry is very interesting considering where I'm at right now.

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A Year Ago Today: June 30, 2003

Gastric Bypass and All Kinds of Anxiety

OK, I just heard an hour long interview with a woman who had the gastric bypass surgery, her doctor and another nurse from the hospital that did it. Hearing it makes me want to have the surgery. The doctor said their average patient thinks about the surgery for 2 years before doing anything about it. 2 years! Wow...but when I think about it, that's about how long I've been considering it. They said the average recovery time is 2 to 3 weeks at home for a desk job, 6 or more if your job requires lifting more than 30 pounds.

I just want to be able to fit in normal spaces again. I want to wear normal size clothes and not be all huffy and puffy after climbing the stairs. I want my back to NOT hurt after walking for 15 minutes. I want to feel good with how I look.

I know there are emotional and psychological issues behind all of this that won't (Ed: No Duh, huh?) magically go away with the weight. But I could work on that stuff once I donít have to work on the weight stuff. Oh I donít know.

I am afraid of my interview on Thursday. The woman being interviewed on the radio about her surgery said she was passed over for many a job due to her weight and she weighed 15 pounds more than I do right now at her heaviest! I know I have nothing to lose as I already have a job and good skills and am a good person. But still...I am afraid of that look. That look that starts off as surprise and then kind of morphs into either disgust or pasivity, depending upon the person's beliefs about weight, looks, and appearances. So, we'll see. I will dress nicely and be prepared and will just leave it in God's hands.

I would LOVE to be able to ride a bike again. Or take a walk without blisters and an aching back and huffing and puffing. I want to play with kids. I want to go swimming and not care what I look like in a swimsuit (but as a woman, I realize that may never come to be.) I want to go to my home town and not be afraid of running into people I went to high school with. I want to see old friends without worrying what they think. I want to fit into an airplane seat. I want to be able to sit down without worrying if the chair can support my weight. I want to wear my husband's shirts. I want to look good in photographs.

You would think if I wanted all this stuff so badly, I would do something about it, wouldnít you? Yeah, so do I. Why isnít that stuff enough to propell me into some kind of healthy lifestyle change? I donít know either, but if you find out, can you let me know?

Thanks for reading.

4:35 p.m. - Wednesday, Jun. 30, 2004
2 comments

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