sunflowery's Diaryland Diary

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(Edited and Updated) Back from the Cabin

I wrote this so quickly this morning, that I didn't really get to add things in and I've remembered more, so I am editing this post now (7-19-04 12:30pm)

We had a wonderful time at the cabin this weekend. I got home just after five on Friday night and we loaded up and were on the road by 6. At first we thought we hit the jackpot on the roads since they seemed pretty free flowing. However when we got just outside of Champlin, we were not so happy. The roads were clogged until well after Elk River. Once we got out of the metro, though, we were cruising. We got to the cabin around 9pm, just before sunset. I was driving and Bob was navigating. We had one misstep though. I had asked him what road we were looking for and he mentioned a particular road. So I'm tooling along, knowing he will tell me when the road is coming. We zoomed past another road and he says we missed our turn. I said, how could we have missed our turn, we were looking for road A, not road B. He said he made a mistake. SO we turned around and in the field across the street from where we turned around, there were 6-8 deer grazing. As we turned, they all took off, running and loping through the fieild. A truly beautiful sight which made me feel better as I was crabby at Bob's lack of navigational skills. It's not that he missed it, the road was named 2 different things and then became it's own road and it confused him. So that's OK. We got there in one piece and all was well.

We stepped out of the truck and were immediately attacked by thirsty bloodsuckers. Just to unload the truck, we needed to bath in OFF. It was either that or be drained of the blood.

Friday night we don't usually do much at the cabin except unload and organize. We just sat around and talked until we were tired and then went to bed. My brother in law and sister in law had had very hard weeks, so they went to bed before we did. I took a shower before going to bed because I cannot sleep with OFF on me all night.

That first night I didn't sleep so well because it was a chilly night and I couldn't find the extra blankets.(in the closet right next to my bed, don't you know?)

Things at the cabin are pretty low key. There is not really an angenda and we just kind of do our own thing for the most part. On Saturday, we all slept in and it felt good. There was a leisurely breakfast, more chatting, lots of teasing and then we changed and it was time for some fishing. It was a great day for it. Warm and just cloudy enough for fishing. You just don't want the bright sunlight when you are trying to catch the fish.

We fished off a pontoon boat. It's hard for Bob to get to it, but easy for him to get in and once he's in, he's golden. We caught sunfish and bluegills, though we were trying for Walleyes and Crappes (sp?) A couple of us caught Northern Pike, but they were little and not worth keeping. Actually, we don't keep any. We catch and release.

The best fishing was just near the boat. You could almost just drop your line in the water right next to the boat and something would grab the bait. There were a lot of light biters and for the first half hour, we all lost a lot of bait while we tried to get the feel of thos whiley fish. While we were fishing the largest snapping turtle I have ever seen swam near our boat and kind of hung around us the whole time. At one point, my BIL threw one the fish he caught at the turle to scare it away, but instead, it swam like a flash and gobbled up the poor little fish. He pretty much hung out with us the rest of the time we were there.

I like fishing but hate putting on the bait and taking off the fish. My poor husband missed a couple of bites himself while helping me take fish off my hook. Poor baby. He's always after the BIG ONE and gets frustrated with all the little sunnies he was catching. But I am thankful that he likes to help me with my line. Otherwise, I would probably not fish myself.

After fishing, we went back to the cabin. My brother and sister in law went to town to get some supplies to fix a fence that had broken since their last visit. So Bob and I hunkered down at the cabin. I made us some tunafish and then he napped and I read. Once the BIL and SIL got back and began to work on their fence, Bob took his scooter for a ride. I still read. Later, he came back and I decided to go for a bike ride. I had to douse myself in OFF again because the deer flies were out en force, but also, in the woods where the cabin is, misquitoes like to come out a bit earlier than dusk.

I road for quite a while and LOVED it! But I kind of mis-judged how far I could reasonably go. So, on the way back, I was walking my bike a bit. But that was OK. It just felt good and I was glad I brought the bike. The road was a little rough as it was gravel and not graded very well. So bumpy. But it was a perfect day to be out. A slight breeze, lots of sun, and just the most beautiful scenery. As I was riding, I passed a field full of baled hay and the sweet smell of that hay, was just delicious. Then, I passed a wooded area and the fingers of coolness that poked out and grabbed me were very refreshing. A nice relief from the warm sun. I didn't see any wildlife except for a dead garter snake in the middle of the road.

I got back sweaty and happy and ready for more fishing. Bob and I met up with BIL and SIL again to catch more fish and this time SIL and I each caught a crappe. We didn't see the big turtle any more, but we did see and hear the loons! We also saw a big ole muskrat swimming along the shoreline. Also, the sunset was beautiful.It was very peaceful and just so relaxing to sit in the boat and soak up the nature around us.

Once we got back from fishing, and were on the dock, the misquitos came out en masse again. Bob and BIL decided to go for a walk, but SIL and I went in to escape the persecution of the blood suckers. I, again, was dowsed in OFF.We opted not to have a campfire due to the bugs.

The day had been perfect though. Warm, breezy, mostly sunny. The cabin is quiet and the sounds of nature abound. Plenty of birds. In fact, they have a half dozen or so hummingbirds. They put out a couple of feeders for them and we can sit right in the window of their cabin and watch the birds eat. They are fast little buggers though, so I wasn't able to get any photos.

Sunday was much the same as Saturday. We slept until we woke up, kind of sat around chatting and doing a little packing. It was much windier and the lake was ripply, but it was warmer and sunnier and just beautiful.

We sat outside and enjoyed the weather, the view and the sounds of life at the cabin, before having to pack up and take off.

We left around noon and drove to another nearby town to have lunch with Bob's parents. It was nice to see them again as we don't see them very much.

Lunch was OK. Not alot I could eat, though I chose a french dip sandwich and thought that would be a good choice, as beef seems to be an OK thing for me. But no, it really wasn't. I felt queasy all the rest of the day.It might have been the greese, or it might have been that the beef was kind of dry. Who knows. I can never predict my stomach actions any more. I will say that all I wanted to do was order a big old bacon cheeseburger with the works and take big, big bites of it until it was gone.

After lunch, we all left to go home. On the way home, Bob stopped in a small town where he used to have his own cabiny get away. But his friends weren't home and the trailer/cabin wasn't there anymore. So we went on our way again.

About an hour from home, we saw a new townhouse development and stopped to take a look. The townhouses were beautiful and there were new ones staked out and ready to be built and they were building them to be wheelchair friendly. I got some info to take home and while they were stunning and affordable, they are about 50 miles away from my work. Not sure if that's worth it. I just want a home so badly. When I was touring this place, it was like feeding a starving kid. I didn't know where to start, but I wanted it all. It wasn't huge, but it was single level living, 2 beds, 2 baths, 1205 sq ft. A large kitchen, a large laundry room, a gas fireplace, a patio, lots of sunny windows, walk in closets, and a 2 car garage. Just a beautiful place. And not too expensive. If you picked all the bells and whistles, you would pay near $61,000. Otherwise, it was closer to $45,000.

We also drove around some brand new twin homes around Andover and thought maybe we would go to some open houses this coming weekend to see what's out there near where we live. After all that gallavanting, we got home around 5 and had enough time to unpack and decompress before bed.

I had antoher little mini break down last night at bedtime though. As Bob came in to run my back, I began to cry. He got all conserned and of course asked why I was crying. I asked him, "Do you think we will be OK?" Meaning...will it always be like this for us? All of a sudden, the burden of bearing the brunt of the financial burden for us was really weighing on me. I am sure single parents have felt the same way many times. Anyway, Bob is so great. He held me and rocked me and just told me to let it all out. He rubbed my back and wiped my tears and was just amazing. Afterwards I said I was sorry and he just said he would rather have me speaking the truth through tears than holding it all in. Can I just say, I married an absolutely amazing man! Then he asked me again if I'm sorry I married him. NO!!!! He thinks it's his fault we are where we are financially and re: our living situation. I say we both take on blame where there is blame to be taken, otherwise we accept what we have to deal with and move on as best as we can. I would not change anything about marrying him. The things I would change have to do with me and money management and maybe going way far back and getting more schooling. But as far as marrying Bob, that was the best decision I ever made. *************************************** A Year Ago This Past Weekend:July 17, 2003: My Nice Boss and Friendships from Childhood

My new boss rocks!

I came to work prepared to give my official 2 weeks notice. But alas, I forgot that my current bosses are at a training thing in Kansas City. Word around the office was confused as to their return date though. I heard everything from today to tomorrow to Monday. So I wrote up my resignation and emailed them each a copy as well as mailed one to their home address. I also sent one to my regional office to cover all my bases.

It was hard not telling anyone...too hard it seems. I ended up telling 2 other administrators and 2 agents in our office. The 2 administrators wonít say anything and I KNOW one of the agents wonít. But the other agent is iffy. Hopefully it doesnít get to CM and SM before the letter does. I am just so excited to get out of here.

In regards to my new boss (Who rocks by the way!), hereís what happened. I called the HR department to see what happens to my earned vacation days (it gets paid back to me), my 2 left over floating holidays (they are forfeited), and health insurance. If I leave on July 31st, my health insurance leaves with me! If I leave on August 1st, my health insurance covers me and Bob for the whole month of August.

I called my new boss MP to see if we could push back my start date to August 4th and explained why. She called me later to tell me if I start August 4th, I wonít get health coverage from the new place of employment until October 1st! So I would go a month no matter what! What she suggested is that I officially start August 1st, but take a PTO day so I can finish at my old place of employment. So for one day I will technically be employed by both places, though only physically residing at one. That way, Iím covered by my old place of employmentís health insurance for the month of August and starting September 1st will be covered by my new place of employment! Rock on! She even called the new place of employmentís HR dept to make sure all of this would be OK and it is! Yay!

So, Iíve cleaned off my computer, saved stuff to disk that I had on here, cleaned out my desk, and cleaned off 1 wall of stuff. I do not want it to look too much like Iím excited to get out of here so I am cleaning/clearing things kind of slowly. Feels so good though. I do not know yet if I will have my own cube, but I am assuming, so I hope to put some of this stuff in there.

Oh! It looks like our house guests might be switching domiciles. Our friend Deb lives in a townhouse with her daughter Megan. Deb has offered to let Lori and Lyndsey stay there with them. That might be a better arrangement. Even though they only have a 2 bedroom place, there is definitely more room all around. Again, it hasnít been so bad, just kind of cramped and busy bathroom. We will know for sure if this is the plan after Friday night. But Bob sure needs to sleep on a real bed. The hide a bed is just killing him. Poor baby! Plus we have been fighting our hormones lately since we seem to always have a 15 year old hanging around. Itís been kind of frustrating that way. Although I will say we have gotten kind of creative and there is a small thrill involved due to the chances of being caught. But Itís not what we would choose of given the choice.

*************************************

Last weekís Friday Five got me thinking about the friendships Iíve had over my lifetime.

My first best friend was Julie Brand. We were in pre-school together and we were in Indian Princesses together with our dads. We were in the same first grade as well. Iím not sure where she was during Kindergarten, but I was a morning kindergartener...she could have been an afternooner. We went to Lincoln Elementary School. I road the bus, I donít remember if Julie did or not.

Being best friends didnít really mean much at that age. I think it meant weíd known each other a log time for 7 year olds. I remember one of her birthday parties. She had a bunch of girls over and her mom made her a rocking horse birthday cake with candles stuck into lifesavers. It was cool!

I was also good friends with the girls across the street. Jenny was the oldest, Barb and Jill were twins in the middle and Kathy was the baby and the one I played with the most. They had an all white cat named Dandy and lots and lots of toys. I learned to ride a two-wheeler without training wheels in the alley behind their house. They told me I couldnít play a game they were playing because I couldnít ride without training wheels. I was so mad and decided to show them they were wrong by grabbing their momís bike, hopping on it and riding rather wobbly down to the end of the alley and back. I was allowed to play.

We moved during my first grade year and I started to attend Howe School. I walked the 8 blocks to school. My best friends were the girls next door, Treasa and Tracy. Sometimes we would walk to school together. Mostly we played in their tree house or playroom. They had cool toys. We also spent a lot of time trying to get rid of my brother. Whom I now feel sorry for because we lived next to so many girls and no boys when he was little.

I did not have any close friends at Howe School. I tried to make friends with Kristine E, but that didnít really go very far. Mostly I befriended the younger smaller kids and fought the bullies off of them. But I donít remember any of their names.

We moved again and I attended Washington Elementary. Thankfully we moved to a subdivision with a large population of children. I was good friends with Amy H, Jane S, and Stephanie G. Also, there was a subdivision across the street from ours and my friends Jenny K and Bridget B lived there. I would bike over there to play at Jennyís house. We would play "Grease" and "Charlieís Angels". I was always Frenchie and Sabrina. Yeah. Sometimes, in the summer dusk, a bunch of kids would get together and play kick the can or 7-up.

At school I was still friends with Bridget and Jenny but also with Kendra K. Although often I felt left out and got into "fights" with them about having to be Sabrina and Frenchie.

I wasnít really very close to those girls though. I was an early developer and they started to make fun of me and grew together while keeping me out of their group. It was such a painful time.

Seventh grade was the start of Junior High and I had to go to another new school.(East Jr. High) This one was big and there were lots of other kids there. I became friends with Amy K and Kerri B. I was in choir with Amy and donít remember what class I had with Kerri. But Kerri and I would often go roller skating with our "boyfriends" on Friday night and then I would sleep over at her house that night. She had a hamster that would run in his wheel and keep me awake at night.

I finally seemed to be coming into my own and once again we moved. This time we moved to another town altogether so it meant another new neighborhood and another new school. More on that tomorrow.

Thanks for reading!

July 18, 2003:Leaving and Not Having a Hard Time of it

I told my boss today. The reaction was about what I expected. First of all I called him at 9:00am and woke him up. When he called me back he said, "Well, it goes without saying that weíll miss you but we know youíve been VERY unhappy here for quite some time and this probably wasnít really the job for you." Yeah, thanks for the compliment...Iíll miss you too! Then he asked if I would be required to work with the public at all at my new job. Inferring what, do you think?

So, I put an ad in this Sundayís paper and called Kelly temps and have a temp coming in on Monday. I spent the rest of the day coming up with a training resource for the temp so he wouldnít be completely lost. Should be interesting.

Oh...also, another agent...the one who has been here for 45 years, came in and told me that at my new job I wouldnít be able to talk to my husband 20 times a day or be online at all. Now, I love this guy...but he doesnít know me at all. I talk to Bob once, maybe twice a day and I am forever hanging up on or cutting him off due to business concerns. At my new job I will be on the phone all day and wonít be able to make or receive personal calls except on breaks. Also, I am online at lunch and before and after work only. Actually, to be truthful, Iím online all day because a lot of our work applications are online so Iím always having to go into those and have those up and ready to go almost all the time. The other stuff is left for before work and breaks. It just makes me mad that he thinks he knows me and what I do. There is too much work for me here in this office to waste time on the phone or internet. Whatever.

SM is on the phone on personal calls all day long. She will be on the office phone with her sister and her cell phone will ring and she will answer it and it will be her daughter. And sheís my boss. I just do not have the time to chat during the work day.

Anyway. I am glad itís out and everyone knows and I can just get closure and get out of here.

6:56 a.m. - Monday, Jul. 19, 2004
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