sunflowery's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anxiety Breathing Breeds More Anxiety Which Makes Breathing Harder So this breathing thing is driving me nuts. And my heart rate seems to be a tad on the high side. I called my doctor but couldn't get in until Tuesday, so if it gets worse, I will go to the urgent care. The more I try to concentrate on deep breathing, the more tense and stressed out I get. If I just let it go and concentrate on other stuff, it seems to not be as bad. I just want to curl up and go back to sleep. When I'm sleeping, I breathe normally and my heartrate slows to normal. This is worse than any other anxiety breathing I've had in the past. In fact, I feel like I might be having an anxiety attack. I might have some old Celexa around somewhere. Maybe I should call my doctor and ask her if I should take half a pill. At one point I felt like I was either going to pass out or burst into tears. I did neither, but it scared the crap out of me which prompted the call to the doctor. In the past, I could deal with anxiety breathing and just let things take their course. Once whatever it was that was stressing me out passed, the anxiety breathing passed. This time, I don't know what's causing the anxiety breathing, so I don't know what to watch for or when to expect it to stop. Thanks for the suggestions about the deep breathing...but it doesn't help. I've tried everything and the only thing that has ever helped is sleeping and just letting it work itself out. But this time it's more intrusive and persistant than in times passed. In other news...there is a guy at the gas station Bob frequents that has worked faithfully for 23 years. About 2 weeks ago, they told him they had to "downsize" and were giving him his 2 weeks notice. The guy is 59 and the night manager. Last night was his last day there and did they do anything for him? No. No severance, no gold watch, no pension, no party, no nothing. So Bob asked me if I would bake him a cake and could he take him out to drinks after his shift? Of course! I baked the cake and decorated it with silver sparkler candels. Bob took it over and he said this guy acted like it was his birthday. He was so pleased Bob honored him in this way. Bob felt so badly about how he was being treated after 23 years of faithful service. Bob's opinion of the family that owns this particular service station has been tainted and he's not sure he wants to hang out there as much anymore. And he will certainly miss this guy who has been one of his better friends. I love my husband so much and his heart of gold! My boss LOVED her gift. And the red Peeps? They are pink in the middle and have strawberry flavoring. So fun! I'm not sure where she got the Peeps maker...maybe Target. Someone gave it to her as a gift. I'm sure if you googled it, you could find one too! I love her string of Peeps christmas lights, myself. Ha ha! My boss just left the office to catch her flight to Myrtle Beach. She is going to be on vacation for a whole week. Did she say goodbye? Nope. Just shuttled out of here like her tail was on fire. Heee. I hope her flight gets off on time. We have fog thicker than pea soup here right now and about 20 minutes ago it was snow/sleeting. Blah. So New Girl didn't show up again today. I just think it would be better for all involved if she just quit. She missed this whole week, only came in for 2 days last week and 1 day the week before. My co-worker and I and now Temp Gal are covering her work and are actually getting stuff done, but as we work together, we are bonding and forming a team that will only make it harder when she comes back. And now her bankers are starting to call us and we are forging relationships with them that will be hard to break when she comes back. Argh! I do hope she is keeping healthy though and that her baby is born OK in July. But right now it's frustrating from a work standpoint. Maybe this is where anxiety breathing is coming from...though I don't think so. 1:32 p.m. - Friday, Mar. 11, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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