Comments:

Sunny - 2004-08-06 08:56:40
Amy, Amy....Most of what is said here in the comment section is encouraging and beneficial from what I've read. People do care! Some comments "do" seem harsh but consider this~~could there be a "grain of truth" to everything people write? I'm not negating that what you are going through is really tough and no one "but" you can know exactly how it is. Unless we walk in those same mocassins we can't know exactly what the experiences is like. Lost dreams are hard and grieving must take place but to stay in that grief isn't good as well. This is what I got from the "guest" entry is that they haven't seen where you are looking outside of yourself for help but are staying in that grief. If they are a close friend (and maybe they aren't) maybe they've spoken with you and you haven't heard and they're afraid of the rejection as well. Have you joined a support group(s) for the bariactric post surgery thing? Life is hard, we all know that, but we don't have to suffer all by ourselves when it "really" gets hard. I do "hear" the depression coming through in your entries and that concerns me. Please, please seek some support~~most of us here want to be of help and service to you but I don't think you're hearing us neither. I know this is your place to put your feelings and to vent but if there is a place for comments then we too need that freedom to share with you. I'll keep praying for you to find your joy.
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Jen G. - 2004-08-06 09:33:06
If I had a diary, which I don't, I don't know that I would want an option for people to comment. No one gets to comment on the diary you keep in high school...that's the whole point of a diary. It's a place for you to vent...not a place for someone to put their two cents in about how you should or shouldn't be feeling. I think you are brave for writing here and sharing all of your private hell and your personal joys.
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Dawn - 2004-08-06 11:19:56
That "guest" you mention has obviously not read you from the beginning, or otherwise she/he would understand what is going on and what you are going through. I'd just ignore them, and I would certainly not feel the need to explain myself as you did in today's entry. I've seen far too many diaries shut down because of self-righteous individuals such as the anonoymous "guest".
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Robyn - 2004-08-06 11:33:28
Amy, some people can't seem realize that what you share in your journal is just a fraction of your life. They read your entries and believe they know all there is to know about you. Don't let 'em get you down. *hugs*
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Trinity Sixty-Three - 2004-08-06 13:12:33
Amy - Gosh there's so much to say about all of this. As Robyn so wisely stated, what you do share in your journal is just a fraction of your life. This journal is just one dimension of yourself, and you are a three-D person. So try to keep that in mind when people like this "Guest" share their opinions with you.

The other thing to keep in mind, and it's a lesson I had to learn painfully long ago -- If you are going to write in a public diary, and have a comment section, or an email address, or a guestbook, then you are opening yourself up to those people who are not going to support you. It's a chance we all take when we write about our personal lives, for all to see. If you don't want feed back, and this is just a place for you to write, then take down your comment section, guestbook, or email addy, or lock up.

And those people who I refer to as "Drive by trollers" regardless of their best intentions, are really nothing more than trolls when they spew, don't leave a real email addy, or a journal address to respond to are just plain cowardly.

Last but not least -- you do not have to justify yourself. Take what you need from comments good and bad, and leave the rest. People tend to be really freaking brave out on the internet. Half of what they say on bulletin boards, email, comment sections, and email lists they would never say to your face.

I always take what people say as an opportunity to learn -- so do the same, if this guest has hit on a sore spot with you, or something that hit too close to home, reflect why, learn from it, and go on.

Hang in my friend. XOXO
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Inkdragon - 2004-08-06 21:44:24
Anyone with an ounce of intelligence understands these journals are only a small part of a diarist's life. When someone feels compelled to leave a comment without links, it should be deleted from your comments section and your mind. You are amazingly brave, honest and loving. Bob is lucky to have you and you are lucky to have him. That's what counts.
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Jennifer - 2004-08-06 23:29:05
I am sorry that you were berated like that from the cowardly "guest". They say that if you have never walked a mile in someone else's shoes, then you have no clue what the person is going through. That person has no clue to what a jewel of a person you are. You have a LOT of things to deal with all at the same time, and honey, you are one of the strongest people that I know. I wonder how "guest" would be able to cope one day in someone else's shoes. He or she wouldn't be able to survive in yours. As far as the photography business goes, you are an EXCELLENT photographer!!! (I am pretty sure I have told you that before, but if I didn't, here it is) You would be VERY successful at it, I think. As far as a rate, ask some of your fellow photographers at church. (I think you know of the 2 gentlemen that I am thinking about.) Go look through some of your best pictures and make up a portfolio. I wish you were here in OH, I would have you take some pictures of me and Matt. Your way of picture delivery is brilliant (via Snapfish!). Then, you don't have to be worried about being hasseled for the negatives or orders. Try advertising in a grocery store (their bulletin boards are free). There will be less competition on there. Just make up a cute flyer. As you get business, keep up your references. As for a price idea, most photographers charge quite a lot. (also advertise in smaller churches) Brides on a budget will appreciate that they can save $ hiring you without having to pay $700 per hour (that is the going rate here in OH).
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emily - 2004-08-07 01:48:02
AMY I'M SORRY BUT I AGREE with a lot of the stuff that this 'guest' wrote. i think you have taken it the wrong way, i think they were trying to make you see that you have to stop seeing yourself as a victim. when we see ourselves as a victim, we feel helpless and open ourselves up to wallow in self pity. also in this country, we have freedom of speech and when you have a diary with a comments section, you have to accept that there will be people who will give you positive/negative feed back....
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phyllis - 2004-08-07 09:39:27
Dear Amy, I have to add my 2 cents here. What that "guest" wrote was out of line. It was mean and ugly, and I think the author of that little piece intended it that way. What you described at the doctor's office is what has happened to most of us at one time or another. Just let it go. I'm sure you've been able to do that many, many times when people are less than nice! You'd think of all places, a doctor's office, people would treat you with compassion -- all the time. Unfortunately, it's just not so. Hang on to those times when you're treated nicely! I agree with whoever said you have a lot of guts to write on-line. I can't understand why people have on-line journals. I enjoy reading some of them, but I would never open myself up to strangers! Take good care. Keep on keeping on; it's all any of us can do! One last thing: you are entitled to feel your feelings! Don't stuff them down. Feel them, deal with them if you can and then move on! I, too, would suggest a WLS support group. God's blessings on you and Bob! xxoo
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Lydia - 2004-08-07 11:07:42
In reading all of the comments here I have to add that LIFE really does give us some good and some bad~~but it's how we react to it and what we "do" regarding all that that is key to living the abundant life. The bad does stink! But none of us were promised a life of all good things. We aren't entitled to good things, even if we dream them and pray for them. Otherwise we'd all be living a very good life without trouble. I have read that trouble will come in this Life and that through them we are being molded and refined (hopefully). Yes you have been dealt some things but most people are given some things that are harsh. Grieving is healthy but don't dwell in that place~~seek help, wise counsel, support systems and whatever it takes to get past that. Being in constant pain can't feel good and it isn't good long term in a health context. Eventually you will push all of those you seek as friends away from you if you continue to stay negative (such as the "poor me"). People just don't like to continue to hear all that stuff as they have enough to worry about in their own lives. I agree with the people who say that a "public diary" plus comment section, is there for whoever wants read and place their comments. I don't understand wanting to "air" your innermost feelings for others to read and possibly discuss among themselves ( especially if they know you personally). It's human nature after all. What "Guest" wrote did come across as hard stuff and probably wasn't said in a sensitive manner~~but perhaps as someone else stated here, they may have a 'grain of truth' to what was said. You do seem to be strong in many ways otherwise you'd not have gone through that surgery etc. Plus you seem to have a good foundation for living if I've read right. It's o.k. to be sensitive too but try to take what is beneficial and leave the rest. Don't dwell on the hurt! I would add my blessings to you and your husband and know that you will come through all this on top!
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