sunflowery's Diaryland Diary


Hanging Out on a Saturday

My poor husband. Both of us really HATE rejection. Not that you all are out there looking for someone to hold you at arms length, ignore you, befriend you and ignore you again. But both Supe and I have some issues with rejection.

Anyway, every year for the past 15 years, Supe's mother, step father, 1 brother and his family and 1 sister and her husband have gotten together every New Year's up north to party and ice fish. Every year Supe has longed to be invited. Every member of his family has been at one time or another. They stopped asking the 2 sisters with kids because they always begged off. But this year, one of the sister's has a kid in college and a kid in high school. Guess who was invited up North and who wasn't?

When Supe found out, he felt so bad. It's not even that he wants to go anymore. He would just liek to be thought of enough to be asked to join the rest of the family. I wish I knew why they exclude him like they do. They started planning the whole thing in front of him and when it became apparent that he was listening, they began to try to keep their plans a secret from him.

It just hurts me that it hurts him so much.

Today we have been watching Finding Nemo woth Jorge and Karla from our building. They are the cutest little kids. There are a lot fewer kids in our building now than when we first moved in here. Only about 6 compared to the 16-20 that were originally here. We miss all the kiddos, as do the other kids who are left here.

Today I was thinking about our living situation. We love living here, but it would be so nice t own a house. I don't know if we ever will, but it sure would be nice. I was imagining building our own house. It would have to have hard wood floors so Supe's wheelchair could move about easily. It would have to have lots of open spaces and wide hallways and doorways. It would have to have lower counters and a pot rack on the wall so Supe could reach our pots and pans easily. It would have to have a roll in shower and high toilets and bars on the walls of the bathroom. It would be nice to have some sort of support system in the bedroom as well so Supe can easily get out of bed or turn over when he needs to. I don't know how in the world we will ever get to the house portion of our lives since right now we are barely making our bills. I don't even know how in the world we will ever get Supe the van he needs so badly. So, there's no point in dreaming about the house right now. I just wonder how long we will be where we are now. In actuallity, I am glad to have this time with Supe. I don't care where we live, just as long as we are together and able to share our life. Don't mind me...I'm not greedy or unsatisfied with my life. I just get ahead of where God has us right now...I know it will all come together someday.

3:09 p.m. - Saturday, Jan. 03, 2004


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