sunflowery's Diaryland Diary


Wondering Whether Warmer Weather Wears Well?

Supe is swimming in wheelchairs! He bit the bullet and went out and rented one only to have the airline finally send one over. Also, they think they found his wheelchair in Dallas, Tx. So he is on vacation and so is his chair!

Now that he's in Florida, he is more definite about wanting to live there. I say fine. But not in Orlando or Miami or Tampa. I would prefer living in or near Pensacola. They are still in the central time zone and are right on the ocean. I have been looking at real estate and jobs online to get a feel for what's what down there. Any of you know anything? Send a comment, note or email my way. Thanks!

Thinking of moving messes me up though. Every root we've put down, every community we are a part all gets cut off or changed. We would be leaving our wonderful, fabulous church and Supe's school. We would be leaving our friends and family far behind. We would be leaving 4 full seasons and the midwest we've always known and loved. We would have to find new doctors, a lawyer, medical supply store, grocery store, radio stations, yarn stores, automotive repair, and stuff to do during time off. I would have to find a new job! We would have to pack up and haul all our stuff and our 2 cats roughly 1300 miles South. It's a big, big move and a big, big decision. We haven't made the decision yet, but we are praying about it to see what and where God leads us. We would also have to find the MDA in Florida and set him up with new doctors and find new aid agencies. Sheesh!

There are some faily large employers there...AmEx, some health care and insurance companies, and education facilities. So, it shouldn't be too hard to find a job. My only concern is when this would happen? Our lease expires in October, so we would have to let our landlords know by August 1 if we are moving or not. Is that enough time? It could be something we do next year or the year after...who knows. All I do know is Supe wants to get out of the snow and ice and to do that, we have to move South.

I had the weirdest dream last night. It involved my friend Bryan. He was a guy I fell deeply in love with the summer of 1987. I was in love with this man for the better part of 8 years. We were briefly engaged, but that ended quickly, though our friendship and love did not. The problem? He admitted to being gay. It was our very own Will and Grace story. I finally got over him and our friendship was never quite the same. The last time I heard from him was sometime in 1999 or 2000. I don't know what happened, I still write to him, but haven't heard from him since then.

Anyway, on to the dream. I dreamt that Bryan and his brother's ex-girlfriend got married and moved to my hometown. They had a baby! I was in town and his wife got mad when they ran into me. I got kind of huffy and said, "if you don't want to run into me, don't move to my hometown." The rest of the dream was us meeting clandestinely...supposedly to renew our friendship, but I kept feeling feelings of possession and infatuation. At one point he challenged me with the old, "I am married now!" All I said was, "So am I!" and I stuck the ring in his face so he would get a good look at it.

I don't know what in the world that dream was all about. I do not have feelings for Bryan anymore, other than sadness over the loss of that friendship. It was just so real and so weird. I really did feel jealous and possessive of him and so sad that he had a baby and I didn't. So weird.

11:48 a.m. - Wednesday, Feb. 25, 2004


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