sunflowery's Diaryland Diary


My Heart Longs For White Sand Beaches

So either in an attempt to feel closer to my vacationing husband or in an attempt to prepare myself for any surprises, I have been researching Florida, Pensacola in particular. Oh man, do I want to be on those beautiful white sand beaches right now! I just received a HUGE packet of info from the Pensacola chamber of commerce.

Did you know Pensacola was America's first settlement and boasts one of America's oldest churches and forts? It's also a huge naval port area and home to the Blue Angels. Not only is it a beautiful Gulf of Mexico area, there are loads of lakes, bays and rivers.

I am most amazed at the cost of housing there. I have looked through 4 real estate magazines and each one has starter homes starting at $50,000 and nicer and even brand new homes starting at $80,000! Most of the homes are one level with no steps and have pools, screened porches or "Florida" rooms and at least an acre of yard. The Pace area seems to be the most affordable and fastest growing community. It is about a 25 minute commute to Pensacola proper. Of course the closer to the Gulf, the more expensive the homes. But still, you can get a lot of home for little money here. It seems now is the time to buy because though there has been quite a bit of development, for the most part, there hasn't been a huge influx of development as of yet. Alot of the area is protected land as well as government property, so much of it will stay unspoiled and unsettled for quite some time.

There are quite a few civic groups, art influences and festivals year round. They have outdoor music in the summer, mardi gras in the late winter/early spring and other fun things going on year 'round as well.

My only problem would be the cost of moving there. The cost of hiring a van to get there, the start up housing costs...either closing and down payment of a house of the fist/last months rent and deposit on an apartment. Also, how in the world does one interview for a job in a state where one does not reside? Would it be better to quite my job and just head down there hoping to find something right away or to send out a million resumes and hope someone would hire me via phone/computer?

I think about 9/11 and how everything that was ever truly important to me became so clear in the days following that tragedy. My husband's health and well being is one of those things right now. I just think of how he could get out into the sunshine and fish from the pier into the big blue ocean. I think of him never having to stuggle with ice and snow again. I think of him enjoying the ocean breezes and the value of our own home. These things are important to me.

But we live in an amazing place right now. We are close to both our families (his more so than mine), have an amazing church home where Supe is attending ministry training school and has yet to finish there. I have a great job with fabulous benefits, and we have friends and history here. People who know us and love us and have walked with us since Supe's diagnosis.

If we move, we will be moving to a place where all the people we meet will only know Supe as he a wheelchair. He is so much more than that and our friends and family all know that. That's kind of scary to me.

Everything is familiar to me...I am just starting to feel like this is home. I know what grocery store I prefer, where the best pharmacy is, the presets on my car and bedroom radios are set to my favorite stations, and after driving around with a map in my car for the first 6 months I lived here, I know my way around the whole metro area.

That is not to say I can't adapt. I've moved alot in my 36 years. I traveled to Brazil when I was 16 years old and spent the summer in so many new and exciting places. I moved to Sioux Falls, SD for college. I moved to Delaware, New Jersey and Maryland to pursue my dream of nanying out East. I moved back to Southern WI after all my friends had left and started over. I moved to the Twin Cities in 1998, in the beginning to go to school, but ended up working and falling in love and getting married. I can move again. I know what it takes.

Part of me likes moving. Likes discovering new places and new faces. Part of me likes the excitement and the newness and the starting over. But that wears off quickly. The shiny newness does not last long and there has to be some roots set down pretty quickly in order to feel like moving was the right thing to do.

When I think of those white sand beaches and ocean air and sweet warm breezes, I just long to be there. I miss being near an ocean and it would be a dream come true to live near one...even if it is the Gulf of Mexico.

I suppose I could look for civilian jobs within the naval bases. They might pay pretty good and have good benefits. there are aslo a lot of great health care places to work...which is also good news for Supe. Although I think the nearest place for MDA is in Alabama. (But the Alabama border is not far from Pensacola)

Anyway, I'm not going to make the decision today. Mostly I miss my husband and am so jealous of his close proximity to the ocean today. Also, as I've stated before, this journal is a place where I work things out in my head. This is a big thing for me to work out and I am sure in the coming days, I will be writing more about it.

In the meantime, tomorrow is tax preparation day. Fun, huh? But tomorrow night is live music at The Bean (hello stalkers!). Cannot wait!

9:07 p.m. - Friday, Feb. 27, 2004


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