sunflowery's Diaryland Diary


Still Waiting

I just called the bariatric clinic to ask when I might be able to expect my nurse clinician to call me.

Apparently the bariatric clinic is in the middle of an expansion/move and all the nurses are moving stuff when they aren't meeting patients and making calls. Plus, my nurse wasn't in today and she won't be in on Monday morning AND she has a full schedule Monday afternoon. Great. BUT they said my chart in is her box for her to call, so I guess I can expect a call sometime early next week. It is just so hard waiting!

I had a banker call me today about writing a new annuity policy. She wanted to know what the surrender penalty schedule is for the policy she is writing. I told her what pamphlet it could be found in. Right away she got all huffy with me and said, "Yeah, the reason I call you is so I don't have to go digging through all that crap in the first place. If I wanted to look it up, I wouldn't call you at all." OK. Yeah, that makes for a pleasant and magical customer service call. -------------------------------------- A Year Ago Today: March 12, 2003: "H" is for Harmony and Healing

Today's entry is brought to you by Alphabytes and the letter "H" for Harmony.

No definition today...just an entry. Yesterday was test day for SB and I. One of his sisters took me to my test at the hospital and one of his other sisters took him to his test at the clinic. Both were scheduled for 1pm. He was done by 1:30; I was done by 2:30.

When I go to radiology, I was given a hospital bracelet and told to go to Nuclear Medicine. What? Once there I was given an IV and promptly got fainty. I hadn't eaten all day and was really weak. But I made it through and they gave me a medicine that would make my insides all glow-y so the camera can pick them up.

They had me lie on a narrow table and told me not to move for the next hour. Do you know how hard that is? The camera was then placed over my abdomen and I could see the medicine going through my heart, liver, gallbladder, and large intestines. It was kind of cool, but I've never been so bored. I wasn't comfortable enough to sleep and because of how I was lying, I couldn't read a book or magazine. I was cold, uncomfortable, and bored.

After the first hour, they put another medicine through my system that was supposed to constrict my gallbladder so the doctor could see how it was working. So, another half hour later, I had been lying in one position for an hour and a half.

When I got up, I was stiff and dizzy, but managed to get through the whole thing without the morphine. So, That's good.

SB's sister, took me to the hospital and was there to take me home. I love her! We had a nice talk. When we got to our place, SB's other sister, was there as she had taken him to his CT scan. We all chatted for a bit and had a nice time of catch up. His sisters rock!

SB's OTHER sister called and said his dad was ill and had entered the hospital that morning. They think he either had a stroke or that his Hodgkin's has entered his brain. He is not talking coherently and is confused. That was not good news and was unexpected. But SB's sister is going to come and visit us on Sunday, so that is good. Love her too.

SB's doctor called last night and said that his tests came back and indicate he does not have that blood order after all. What? Does he have the symptoms? Yes. Did they think he exhibited enough of the symptoms to tentatively diagnose him at first? Yes. Was the treatment working so far? Yes. What is it then? No one knows. So, more tests. He is scheduled for an EKG tomorrow morning and another doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon. For a guy who HATES doctors, this is asking allot. He is frustrated and mad.

As scary as the diagnosis they originally gave us was, at least it was an answer as to what was wrong. Not having any answers is worse than knowing what it is, even if what it is is really bad. I hope they can figure it out. He is still all puffy and swollen. His belly looks like he is pregnant. It's really hard seeing him like this.

Finally, my doctor called last night too. She left a message on our voicemail and said she wouldn't be in the office today, but she would leave the results of my tests in a note in my records and I could call the nurse's line to find out what's what. I called this morning and should get a call back this afternoon. Can't be all bad if she's letting the nurse tell me.

So, as far as harmony goes...I think SB and I are in complete and total harmony right now. We have peace. We know we are loved and are not walking this road alone. We are each going through our own medical things right now, but It's good to find out these things.

And we are both aware of the preciousness of life and how valuable every day with each other is. In the midst of this, we don't know what this means for our future as parents. That's kind of on the back burner right now until we know more about what's going on with SB. And That's OK. I am coming to terms with the thought of never being a mother. That thought is kind of scary and hurts, but we will make it through.

Harmony in life includes some bass notes as well as high notes and together makes beautiful music. So, we are healing from the shocks of life and will be stronger in the long run.

Thanks for reading.

2:22 p.m. - Friday, Mar. 12, 2004


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