sunflowery's Diaryland Diary



What did you do last night? We had a the fire alarm go off for the first time ever since we've lived in this place and it freaked me out. But it was a false alarm, thankfully, so no worries there. The cats were SPOOKED big time by the noise and all the running around, but they perked up after we were all back, safe and sound.

Well, we don't know any more about what's going down with Supe. I called his neuro's nurse this morning and gave her the low down of what happened Friday and she said she would call our family clinic to see why, if Dr. Scott ordered hospitalization, they dropped the ball. She was also going to check with Dr. Scott to see what his orders were and what we should do today. In the meantime, we are just waiting.

I had my teaching appointment this morning with a nurse practicioner. It seems my surgeon will be Dr. Jeff Baker and he has not yet looked over my chart and sent it on to insurance! Lynn, the NP was going to check on that. I didn't learn much of anything that I didn't already know. She pretty much taught straight out of the book they give you on your first appointment. I weighed in on their scale at 356 even, so the loss is still happening. Mostly, she emphasized LIQUIDS ONLY 3 weeks after the operation and then a week of pureed food before trying softer and regular food. Lots of guidelines to follow, but if I can follow them, my risks are low and my losses high! Whoo hoo!

Can I just say that my imagination is running wild right now? I am thinking that the reason they had our family doctor call us to tell us Supe had to be hospitalized is because they have some really, really bad news and they want our family doctor to deliver it since we have a relationship with her already. Silly, no? I know.

I had a weird dream last night. I know reading people's dream entries borders on the most boring of journal reading ever, but this one was personal.

I was fat in my dream...which isn't always the case. And I was with a group of people who were doing things I could not join in on because of my girth and size. Eventually, I tried surfing...except we were at a river that fed a lake, so I'm not sure how surfing was possible, but it was a dream, so whatever. I was good and I loved it! I surfed and surfed and surfed and had a blast! I felt like a regular person. As I was making my way up the hill to see what my group thought, I caught the conversation of 2 skinny barbie dolls. One of them said to the other one, "Who does that fat girl think she is? Doesn't she know that surfing is only for skinny people?" And then the other one said, "Yeah, I can't believe she would venture out into public looking like that, let alone try anything athletic!" And they laughed and laughed. Right away I deflated. All my energy, all my pride and joy at what I managed to accomplish was gone. I felt like a fool. And I felt like what I always thought about trying new things as a fat girl was true...people don't care about anything you do as long as you are fat. That's all they see. I ran to my group and cried and none of them were surprised. I expected them to be excited for me at learning this new, fun sport and instead, they kind of acted like the 2 barbie doll girls. I was soooo sad and woke up feeling so low and down.

What do you think? If fat people can do athletic things, should they do them in public? Do you think the public cares? If you are fat, do you try new things in public? Leave a comment.

11:36 a.m. - Monday, Mar. 22, 2004


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