sunflowery's Diaryland Diary


More Catching Up to Do

Supe scare the hairy heck out of me yesterday. I didn't hear from him all day and we usually talk at least 1 or 2 times. I tried calling him and he never picked up, so I worried and worried. I had planned on going straight to my women's study group at church, but swung by home first to check on Supe. When I got in, all the lights were still off and all was quiet. I used the restroom and kept telling myself that everything was OK. But deep, deep down, I was scared to death that Supe had died and I would have to go into our bedroom and find him. Of course, then I ran down the list of all the people I would have to call and what the heck I would do if he were, in fact, dead. I kept putting off checking on him because of my fear. I fed the cats, put away my lunchbox stuff and briefcase, and just made it a point of waiting to see if maybe he would hear me and just come our of the bedroom. When I could endure it no longer, I opened the door, the room was dark, and as I walked towards the dark lump laying on the bed, I heard him say, "Hi honey!" Oh my word. I fell on him crying, so thankful that he was still there. He seemed to not really know why I was so upset. Here it was almost 6pm and the last I had seen of him was 7am and he was in the exact same place, exact same position. He said he just wasn't feeling well. His throat hurt and his nose was alternatively stuffy and runny. I didn't really need an explanation as to why he was still in bed. After all, that is where I desprately longed to be myself. I was jealous that he got to do what I had longed for all day. But he got up and I was never so grateful.

It was a nice evening with temps in the 80's. So I swept off our porch, cleaned off the table and chairs and put Maisey on her lead so she could enjoy the outdoors. Daisy is still too fraidy to try it. Maisey, on the other hand, LOVES it! Someone's doormat had blown into our yard/area over the week and Maisey HAD to lay on it as though it were the Sunday paper and we were intent on reading it. She looked, for all the world, like a queen surveying her kingdom. Silly girl. She was out there for at least 3 hours...loving every minute of it.

Around 8, I had a meltdown and just sobbed on Supe's chest while he held me. Then I decided to go to bed and just sleep it off. He was OK with that. He has an MRI and ultra sound scheduled for today. I was bumming that I couldn't take him. At work, we are decidedly short handed due to losing some folks and due to other folks taking work time to study for their series 7 license. And being I am taking a full month off for my surgery and recovery, I really can't afford to take more time off. Sometimes I hate being the one who has to work.

Supe's sister was going to take him to his appointment today, but she called and left us a voice mail last night saying she couldn't. I sat at work this morning stuggling to come up with a way I could convince my boss to let me go for 3 hours...then I thought of Supe's other sister. She works during the day too, but she's a manager and sometimes has a more flexible schedule. So I emailed her the details and asked if she could take him to the appt. She called me back and said she could!

I JUST got off the phone with Supe and it turns out that the tests his doctor wants are more than they could schedule him for today. So instead of one appointment today, he is having 2 MRIs next week on Tuesday and Thursday. The sister that took him today can take him to one next week and we are hoping his other sister can take him to the other one. Otherwise, I am back to fretting about how to get time off to take him.

Supe HATES MRIs. HATES them with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns. So, this is huge. I wish I could go with him and hold his hand. I did send him with 2 of his favorite praise CDs so he could at least listen to something pleasant.

I have made several adjustments to my eating. In the mornings now I have a protein drink and a cup of yogurt. Around 10 or 10:30, I have another protein drink. At lunch a sensible meal and at dinner either a lite something or another protein drink. Then, throughout the day...lots and lots of water. I cut out the Cokacola and extra sugar. No more candy, no more snaking, no more emotional/bored eating. I HAVE to keep losing so I can have my surgery in 18 days! Seems so soon. With all the problems Supe is having, I hope I can stay on track with my eating and the surgery. At least I'll have 4 weeks off to enjoy his company.

Gas is up to $1.89 and set to go up to $2.00 or over soon. Blech! Good thing we drive putt putt cars that don't drink the petrol. They are saying $3.00/gallon is not out of the question for this summer. Good thing I work 4 miles from home. Might have to get a bike and ride that instead.

Tonight I have a dentist appt with the new dentist. I'm just going in for a cleaning. Hope that's all I have to do.

As if all this isn't enough, I have decided to commemorate the 10 year anniversary of the start of my former church's singles group by putting together a year book of sorts. I used to do the quarterly news letter, until I moved away. Lots of changes these past 10 years and I thought it would be fun to do something to catch everyone up. I am just now getting in touch with everyone to see if they, in turn, can get me in touch with the people I lost touch with. Then I will ask for current photos and an update on where they are now. Doesn't sound like a lot right now, but I know it will get crazy in about 6 months. Still, hope it turns out and that people participate. It's only fun if everyone chips in.


A Year Ago Today: May 06, 2003 Rental Agreements and Getting Started

I forgot to write about what happened when Sweet Baboo called our property owner. He wanted to check and see if our rent would be going up at all because if it was, we would probably have to move. Our lease is not up until October 1, but in an effort to plan for vacation days and deposits, SB wanted to check it out.

Originally, our rent was $750/month. But when we moved in, they were having a special, so we got a month or two for free. Instead of not paying any rent for a month or two, we had them prorate it over the course of the year, so we only ended up paying $690 a month. SB called the landlord, explained our financial and work situations and asked if our rent would be going up this next year.

Our landlady told him that she couldnít come down at all, but that it wouldnít go up. Then she came back and said that she could go as low as $680...did that sound OK with him? Did it ever! So, weíre not only NOT paying the original $750...weíll be paying less a month than we are now! Too cool. So, it looks like we are staying where we are for another year at least. (Unless something miraculous comes along.)

Also, we wonít be staying at that house in Burnsville. The homeownersí other son and his family have moved back to the Cities and will be staying there. It worked out for the good anyway!

I am feeling very maternal this week. I found a website that pools together many, many international adoptable children and fell in love with so many bright little faces! You can find it at So many needy children! I placed a call to our local adoption agency to see what we would need to get started. We may not be in the "ideal" place to start having children, but since when is there ever an "ideal" time? We have whatís truly important...a warm, loving home and 2 parents who are committed to one another and the love of God. I am praying this one through, so weíll see what happens.

I called SB to tell him about the website and the phone call I made. He wasnít home, so I left a message on our voicemail. We had been talking about our vacation and how if we hadnít done any planning, it never would have come about. Thatís how I feel about adopting. Weíve been trying to conceive for a year and a half or so and that hasnít been working. We talk about adoption, but never do anything about it. Itís not as if a child is just going to fall into our laps. We need to have a plan of action.

What worries SB is the $. That is a concern. Just the pre-app for this adoption agency is $350.00and itís non-refundable. Thatís a lot of cash for something that might not work out. But itís a drop in the bucket compared to what we are willing to give this and other children over the course of their lives. We can come up with it. And of course, if Itís Godís leading, He will supply. I think it is just a matter of stepping out in faith.

There are such beautiful Asian and Guatemalan babies up for adoption. Such sweetness!

We officially re-joined our church on Sunday. Our church changed its name and in so doing, is receiving charter members. It is mostly just a formality. However, it was good to be at the meeting and to fellowship with the other families there.

In my packet, I wrote a note to the pastor asking why they donít have a daycare center there for working parents. They have the space and equipment. I noted my desire to start a daycare and wondered if we could pool our resources together. I havenít heard back. It would be so great...especially if we adopt this year. The only things holding us back from really pursuing it is paying our own taxes and finding affordable health care. Two REALLY big deals but still...not so hard to overcome. People do it every day/week/month/year. Itís just so hard to get started.


On a totally unrelated note, a guy my bosses interviewed last Thursday died suddenly on Saturday. He was only 59 years old. SM wanted to know why he was not returning her calls yesterday only to see his obit in the paper this morning. Weird.

Thanks for reading.

12:38 p.m. - Thursday, May. 06, 2004


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