sunflowery's Diaryland Diary


No Cravings Today! At Least So Far

Today I am NOT craving anything. Yay! Last night for dinner I had tomoato soup and for lunch today I had potato soup and kiwi stawberry jello. Later on, a yummy sugar free popcycle for dessert. Can I say the soups have been the best thing I have ever eaten? At least it feels that way to me. I feel so much better after having them. It's satisfying and filling and oh so tasty. I can't imagine how great it will be once I can move to purees.

Today Supe and I went to a pain clinic so he could be assessed by a physical therepist. It was a good appointment. They are the people that will eventually be perscribing his pain medication. Also, they are going to set him on their pool therapy schedule. That should be a good thing for him.

It's such a small world...the PT that met with Supe ended up being the wife of a guy who hangs out at the gas station near our house all the time. He's good friends with Mike, the guy Supe prayed with last month. The PT's husband used to live next door to us until he met and married this gal. Only thing is, he is sunning himself at our buildng's pool right this very minute. He brought his backpack and cooler and has been basking in the beautiful sunshine for the past 3 hours!

Today I had to stop at Byerlys to get a birthday card for our neice. Right inside the door was a display of angelfood cakes, fresh stawberries, blueberries, and raspberries. I wasn't craving them, but oh I wanted them. At least until I got past them and forgot all about them.

I bought some potato soup and when we got home, I poured it and a can of milk into our blender and pureed the whole thing. Then I cooked it, strained it (just in case) and ate my 2 tablespoons of soup and it was good! I wonder what other soup I can puree like that for a yummy tasting dinner? The only thing is, now I have 4 1/2 cup servings of this stuff to get rid of. It will take me forever!

I still say anyone who says or thinks this is taking the "easy way out" knows NOT what they speak of. I feel better every day but am still not myself. I still get winded pretty quickly when walking, but I keep walking. I'm supposed to be up to 30 minutes a day at this point, but am only about 15 or 20 minutes. I am hoping it gets easier as the weight comes off.

This is the LAST RESORT for anyone wanting to lose weight. It's permanent and forever with no going back. By the end of this year, I will only be able to eat a 1/4 of a cup of food per meal. That's roughly 2 tablespoons of protein, 2 tablespoons of veggies and whatever else fits.

I have a 5+ inch scar running down the middle of my belly.

I cannot have more than 8 grams of sugar in a serving of anything or anything greasy or fatty. Most likely I will be unable to ever eat fresh baked breads, rice, and skinny pasta like speghetti.

The first week and half home, I had to work through food cravings I never conceived of. Though my stomach's been reduced, I still have my sense of smell, taste buds, cravings, and my mind is still the exact same. To make this work, I need to change not only my thinking about food and its place in my life, but about why I eat. I need to learn to eat to live.

In the May 24th issue of People magazine, there was an article about people who have had WLS, lost all the weight, but gained it back because they did not follow the guidelines after the surgery. I can't imagine ever gaining this weight back once I've lost it, but I am sure these people thought the same thing.

It's scary. Did I mention that the first thing I remember thinking after coming to was "What in the world have I done to myself?" and was immediately regretful. I have to say I don't feel that way today. But when I talked with a nurse who had also had the surgery and told her that, she said it would not be the last time I thought that. Not the most encouraging thing to hear at that point, but it was honest.

But for me, a lifetime of struggling mightily with my weight and the frustration of yoyo dieting with little or no results, has come to this. And for me, this was the right decision.

Can I vent a bit? My sister in law, Belle had a birthday while I was in the hospital. Forseeing this, I set up an ecard to be sent to her email and in it, I told her we would send her something when I got out. So, earlier this week, I ordered 2 giftcards to be sent to her. They should have shipped out to arrive yesterday or today. Today I received a notice via email saying shipping will be delayed and she won't receive them until the 19th or some such hogwash. How hard is it to ship a giftcard for goodness sake? It's not like they are hard to come by. And it's definitely not like it has to be boxed in a special box with special shipping options. Sheesh!

3:56 p.m. - Thursday, Jun. 03, 2004


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