sunflowery's Diaryland Diary


Trying to Describe a Dream

I have to get this down before I forget. I know reading about other people's dreams is about as thrilling as sitting at the DMV, but when I go back and read my old dream entries, I find them fascinating.

This morning I was dreaming about being back in college. It was a good dream. I had lots of friends and as dreams work, the friends I had were actually people I was friends with in college, but also friends I have had since.

In my dream I was dating one of my real life post college friends. It was the beginning stages of dating, when we had JUST turned the corner of friendship into a dating relationship. There was kissing and hand holding and clear affection and I found myself very smitten of this man. (Let's call him Don.) IN the dream, it had been Don's birthday but he had been out of town, so I had his gifts and cards with me at school so I could hook him up once we met for lunch. It had also been one of my best friends Patty's birthday so I had stuff for her as well.

Well we all met up at lunch and were chatting. Patty told me she had to talk to me about something. Everyone was EXCEPTIONALLY nice to me and it was freaking me out. I had a bad feeling about what Patty wanted to tell me. But lunch kept going and she never said anything to me.

I gave out my gifts. Don thanked me and when I went to kiss him, he turned his head so I got the corner of his lip. I began to notice that he seemed very nervous and not so attentive. He was also being really a way that made me think he was guilty about something and trying to make up for it.

There was only 10 minutes left of lunch and FINALLY Patty came to me and said she had to tell me something. It was about 2 minutes into her "TALK" that I realized what it was she wanted to tell me...It was then I knew she and Don had been away together and were in love.

I began to cry. She began to explain. I began to yell and she yelled back. I felt such the heal. I felt like I had been made the brunt of a joke. I felt like the girl brought to the frat party by her secret crush only to find out she's been brought to a dog party. I felt betrayed and broken and all of a sudden, so lonely.

And that's how I woke up. With all those feelings at a head. It wasn't the best way to wake up. I remember feeling like that in college, but not over a man. It was just so real. I woke up with a broken heart to find that my heart is still very much intact. Even as the morning goes on and the dream fades, I still find myself giving into the feelings I woke up with...betrayal, anger, fear, and sadness. Then I remember...just a dream...HELLO! So weird.

BOb and I had a great day yesterday after his neuro appointment. What did we do? Absolutely nothing. We didn't turn on the TV at all. We opened up our windows and listened to the kids playing the pool. I read a book and he played poker on the computer. It was so relaxing and a great way to spend a day off. Just him, me and our cats.

I had some very good suggestions from people about finding a good bike. I don't know why I didn't think about this before, but I can go to Wal-mart and get a really good bike for less. I think I didn't think that because we live across the alley from a bike shop dealer and Wal-mart is 2 towns over. But HELLO! I don't need a designer bike...just a good bike. I am also going to check out a church sale on Wednesday that has advertised used bikes for sale. Thanks everyone for all the suggestions!

7:09 a.m. - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2004


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