sunflowery's Diaryland Diary


It's Baaaaaaaaaaaaccck

I'm feeling a little bit better. I'm back to writing to Oprah for her "Wildest Dreams" requests. Maybe if I write her a story a week, she will recognize me at some point and give me a van for Bob just to get rid of me. It worked for the guy in the "Shawshank Redemption".

I have suddenly come down with anxiety breathing though. I hate anxiety breathing. I think anxiety breathing started when I was in college...or maybe when I lived out East. Anyway, I think it's from a combination of fear, stress, panic, and maybe a little depression...don't know. But the best way I can describe it is that I can't catch my breath. I end up yawning and sighing a lot in order to feel like my breathes are "catching". It doesn't happen when I'm sleeping...just when I'm awake. It will eventually just go away, but there is nothing I can do to make it go away. I don't know how to make it go away. I try centralized breathing, counting while breathing, trying to be alm and realaxed. Nothing works. It used to come around when I went back to school and had exams or a lot of stuff due at one time. Or when I was under a lot of financial pressure. And once that pressure passed, the anxiety breathing would pass. What I can't figure out now is why the anxiety breathing has reared up. We are not under any financial pressure. I haven't started school yet so there are no tests, no exams, no projects or papers due. Work is busy, but nothing out of the ordingary. Bob and I are doing fine. So I can't figure it out. I just wish it would go away.

New Girl has not made an appearance to work at all this week. She claims she was rushed to the hospital on Monday but not admitted. Tuesday is her regular doctor appointment day so she won't be coming in at all on Tuesdays. Then she claims she was rushed to the hospital again on Wednesday but was not admitted. Yesterday she called and left a message saying she was going to stay home "due to the family and medical leave act". In the meantime we hired a temp to help us through IRA/Tax season. Well, our temp is FABULOUS! She gets it. She's been here 4 days and she is already doing things better than New Girl who has been here 6 months. Why oh why can't we hire Temp and fire New Girl? I know the answer to that. But it's so bad now that our supervisor told us to just look at the situation as though New Girl is no longer with us. That we should just assume she isn't going to make an appearance and if she does end up showing up, she does. But otherwise to just assume she's gone. It's tense and a tad stressful, but it's not anxiety breathing causing stressful. It's just not fair for any of us. It's not fair for New Girl because she's pregnant and it would seem her pregnancy isn't so easy and we're RIGHT in the middle of our busiest and most stressful season. But it's not fair to the rest of us because she says she's coming in and then doesn't or just doesn't show up at all and then has an excuse for her absenses. It's like she is getting paid to do nothing. But hopefully this is will all resolve itself soon in a way that meet meet all our needs. Be best for all involved.

My boss comes home from a business trip today. I know she's been under immense stress and pressure and it's been a hard time for her. To bring a smile to her face, I brought in a little something for her. When I was in Target last weekend, I saw that they had Peeps easter baskets and they were so cute! My boss collects Peeps. She even has a little display case for them all. And she has Peeps christmas lights and a Peeps maker to make her own Peeps. So I bought her the basket and a pack of the RED peeps that you can only find at Target. I hope it brightens her day. She deserves a smile or two. Or more.

6:37 a.m. - Friday, Mar. 11, 2005


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