sunflowery's Diaryland Diary

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Quickie Update

Well, other than Bob being in pain, we had a pretty good weekend.

On Saturday I managed to address all our Christmas envelopes and I baked cookies. Lots and lots of cookies. I made chocolate chip (not a holiday cookie, per se, but it's Bob's favorite.), Peanut Butter Pinwheels (the kind with the Brach's chocolate star in the middle), and frosted sugar cookies. I also made fudge, but I don't think I put enough chocolate in it so it tastes more carmel-y than chocolate-y. All the cookies are now docorated, frosted, and are put away. I have to bring a plate to work, a plate to each of the 2 family Christmas parties, a plate to the guys at the gas station, a plate to our apartment manager's office...and I think that's it. Oh, and a plate for us for Christmas eve. We got to church, come home, eat cookies and have hot chocolate or coffee and then open 1 present each.

Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow is the day I turn 37. There isn't much planned. Bob is going to take me to dinner at Ruby Tuesdays. We have a buy one, get one free coupon and a little bit of money. If money had been no object, I would have chosen to have my birthday dinner at Palomino...or The Cheesecake Factory. Mmmmmmmmmm. I usually bake my own angel food birthday cake, but I don't have any mix or frosting this year...and couldn't finish a whole piece anyway...so no birthday cake this year. Oh, and it's my brother's birthday tomorrow too. Happy 35th Huff!

This coming weekend will be busy. Saturday is Bob's family Christmas, Sunday is my father's family Christmas, and Sunday night I am taking pictures for a gal's graduation party. Busy, busy, busy.

Happy Holidays!

*************************************** About A Year Ago Today: December 12, 2003: Get Me, the Kitty Peacemaker!

Itís the beginning of my birthday weekend and I won $15.00! I NEVER play the lottery. In fact, my husband plays and I harass him about the money heís wasting playing the lottery. But today I had a dollar left over from my transaction at the gas station and just decided to get a scratch off on a whim. Imagine my surprise when I scratched off the $15.00 prize! Whoot! So Iím up $14.00. But believe me, I will NOT make this a habit. I really do not like to gamble at all.

Last night I tried to bring the peace to our kitties. I usually feed the starving little felines when I get home from work. I had the brilliant idea that their hunger would overcome their fear and animosity towards each other, so why not use that to bring them together? I made up a plate of tuna and set it between the two of them. Daisy's stomach was bigger than her fear of Maisey, so she did come to the plate of trucefullness, but she came hissing and growling with ears flat on her head. Maisey was more curious about Daisy and kept away from the plate of yummy tuna. Eventually, she left the plate altogether and circled around Daisy, continuing her habit of stalking the poor kitty. So, my bright idea did not work out so well, though it did get the 2 kitties in close proximity to one another.

Last night, Sweet Baboo and I went to the bedroom to snuggle and go to bed. Maisey hates that because then sheís left alone in the main apartment. Usually, right after we go to bed, she sticks her front paws under the door of our bedroom and seems to try desprately to open the door by the sheer force of her wishes. Itís kind of cute to watch, but also heartbreaking. Well, last night, Daisy got brave and actually pounced on Maisey's paws, hissing and growling the whole time. Maisey loved it! She thought it was a game. It went well with my theory that Maisey isnít hunting Daisy so much as she thinks she is a toy to play with. We might be getting somewhere.

Potential bad news...the Vocational Rehab place may NOT end up paying for Sweet Baboo's schooling. It turns out that the school SB's going to is not accedited, though they do have special arrangements with schools in the area that credits taken there will transfer. So, SB has to call VR to see if this school would still qualify. So, if you are a person of the praying persuasion, please pray that VR will still be able to help SB pay for school. He was all excited yesterday because if they paid for it, he could add another class, maybe 2. Thanks!

So Iím going to be 36 on Sunday. Iím not sure what else to say about it. I wish it was still like it was when I was little and there was a party and a celebration and the day was all about me. (Well, not ALL about me. I do have a brother who was born on my 2nd birthday, so the day was 1/2 about me and 1/2 about him.) I want flowers and a party and presents and fun. But Iím old now so I donít get the full on birthday hubbub. Just a quiet Sunday brunch with my husband and 2 friends from church. It should be fun, but not birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's fun. *sigh* Iím just a big kid, whose going gray.

I did get my first (only?) birthday present in the mail last night. My brother sent me 2 of the CD's I wanted. Thanks J! I LOVE them! *smile* I hope he gets his gift soon, I know heíll like it.

This is to be the weekend of baking. I am going to make Christmas sugar cookies, peanut butter kiss cookies, fudge and my favorite birthday cake, confetti angel food with pink frosting. Mmmmm.

I am really liking the wls-oasis website. I can post questions, get answers, meet others who have gone through the whole process and even post in a little journal there. It really feels like a safe place to go. If you are thinking about WLS or bariatric surgery, I highly recomend it. Oh, and also, there are a couple of women there who struggle with PCOS too and share their stories there, so check that out as well.

I was just sitting here thinking about my views of beauty. Growing up, I remember my dad picking me up from elementary school and telling me that he and mom were concerned about my weight. Looking back, I realize I was developing and was getting a little curvy. This was about the same time the boys started mooing at me and asking me if it was time for my milking and also the same time that other boys in the neighborhood started calling me a beached whale.

When I look at pictures of myself from that time, I look bigger than the other kids my age, but I donít think I look fat or overweight.

In 8th grade, I was having a really hard time fitting in. We had moved from a larger town where I felt I was beginning to finally fit in, to a small town where everyone knew each other since birth and I turned to food and books for comfort. I did end up gaining a little weight...but not too much because I walked and biked alot at that time. But it must have been enough that my 8th grade math teacher was concerned. She took me aside one day and told me that I had a nice figuere and great legs and she would hate to see me ruin it with bad habits. She, herself was overweight and I think she was reaching out to me, to try and spare me the hurt and pain she went through.

I remember drawing pictures of women to capture my ideal of beauty. I drew these women from about 4th grade all the way through college. I once told my mom that some day I would be skinny and grow my hair long and curly and get rid of my glasses and THEN I would be pretty. I donít remember what she said to that. I hope it was something along the lines of how I was already beautiful but that if I wanted to change my outside to match my inside, she was all for that. Somehow I donít think thatís what she said, but to be fair, I canít remember.

The weird thing is, if I could change me so that I looked like what I think beauty looks like, I would probably change me so as to look like this. Iím still stuck in that mode. My husband does not think this kind of woman is pretty. He calls them Stick Sticklies. He thinks women like Rosie O'Donnel, or Suki from the Gilmore Girls, or that red headed chick from Less Than Perfect are the real beauties of the acting world. Bless his heart. He likes a girl he can hold on to.

In thinking about this surgery, I am hopeful that I can find a happy medium for the both of us. That I lose enough weight to be healthier and prettier in my estimation, but donít become a total stick stickly so as to put off my loving husband. We shall see.

And because Itís been a while, here is the Friday Five!

1. Do you enjoy the cold weather and snow for the holidays? Yes because I am from the midwest and it just isnít Christmas (or my birthday for that matter) if we donít have snow and colder weather.

2. What is your ideal holiday celebration? How, where, with whom would you celebrate to make things perfect? My ideal holiday celebration would be to be with friends and family in a low-key kind of place, such as one of our homes. There would be food and drinks and talking and laughing and maybe a little football on in the other room. It would be festive, but low key.

3. Do you do have any holiday traditions? Nothing really right now, other than we go to church and we open 1 present on Christmas eve and leave the rest for Christmas day. But we open that one gift after church and after we have gotten home, changed, put on some Christmas music and set out some cookies and hot chocolate. Hmmmm.

4. Do you do anything to help the needy? We usually get a gift for Project Angel Tree, put money in the Salvation Army red buckets and also do an Operation Christmas Child gift if we are able.

5. What one gift would you like for yourself? For me? I would like a scanner for our computer, as well as more memory for my digital camera. But more than that, I want a van for my husband so he can get around on his own.

7:16 a.m. - Monday, Dec. 13, 2004
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