sunflowery's Diaryland Diary


Creating a Benchmark

It is COOOOLLLLDDD here in Minne-so-cold! When I left for work this morning, it was 5 below with a windchill of 25 below. The high today is supposed to get all the way up to 5 degrees! Our trip to Florida cannot come too fast for me.

It's so cold that when I squirt windshield washer fluid on my windshield, it freezes before I can clean the glass.

Insurance companies hate this cold weather because it means people are leaving their cars running as they run into the coffee shop, post office, store which makes stealing a car that much easier. But if the crooks are wise, the will just stay home in their warm beds.

My new duties at work are going well. I have been coming in early and staying late in the hope that I will get the hang of a little overtime doesn't hurt. A lot of people are out, so it kind of makes learning my job hard when I also have to cover the tasks of the people who are out. But it's all good.

I had my female health maintenence exam yesterday and it seemed to go well. My doctor told me I should have a mamogram even though I'm not yet 40 because I have fibrous breasts and it's good to have a benchmark to compare to once I turn 40. Bah! I so didn't want to do this now. But I think I will wait until we get back from Florida to make the appointment.

Bob caught my cold. Poor thing. Now he's got the horrible sore throat and nose that can't make up its mind if it's stuffy or runny. No cough yet, but that comes in a couple of days when everything drops to the chest. He is truly miserable...poor guy. Someone was telling me to try Airborn cold remedy when you feel the first symptoms of a cold coming on. Sounds like good advice. I've heard good things about it, but never tried it. Will have to pick some up. Have you ever tried it? Do you have your own home cold remedies that you swear by?

************************************** A Year Ago Today: December 22, 2003: Our Weekend Recapped

Is Coke the sweetest nectar of the gods or what? Mmmm, I love me an ice cold Coca Cola. I have to enjoy it while I can because I will not be able to enjoy this sweet, sweet cola drug after I have bariatric surgery. Or so Iím told. Caffeine and carbonation are no noís. Therefore, I will imbibe while I can.

We had a really good weekend for the most part. Friday night was spent hanging out. I knitted; Sweet BabooÖdid something that I canít remember now. Saturday was better because thatís when our friend Crazy Jennie showed up! Yay! Actually, we first slept in, then I made frosting for our sugar cookies, then I made breakfast/brunch for us and right when we sat down to eat, Jennie showed up. We ate, we visited, and we watched the mighty Vikings cream the Chefs, much to Jennieís chagrin. (Sheís a die-hard packer fan.) We indulged in a yummy meal of spaghetti with meatballs and garlic breadsticks and while I cleaned up the kitchen, Jennie decorated my cookies! Sheís a world-class cookie frosterer. (yes, thatís a word!) After cleaning that mess up, Sweet Baboo, Jennie and I all sat down to a rousing game of Scrabble. There was much trash talking between my husband and our friend. I played just to be included, but as I was also finishing knitting a scarf, I wasnít as into it as Jennie and SB. Although, there was an entry by me that was challengedÖand still stood as played! The offending word? Linty. I put Linty down as my word and stuck by it and darn it, itís a word! I still lost by a huge margin, but I didnít really care. I was on the fast course to finishing my scarf. It had to be finished for our family Christmas shindig the next day. (Thankfully, I finished the scarf and had enough time to wrap it and the other gifts we brought.) After game one, Jennie challenged SB to another game in order to get her ego back on track, but alas, it was not to be. Sweet Baboo is the Scrabble KING and managed to whoop her thoroughly. Poor Jennie. First, the Vikings won (Yay Vikings!) and then she lost in Scrabble to one of Jerryís kids.

Not all was lost. We had a great time of hanging out and visiting. Sunday was church and it was such a good service. Jennie was impressed when our pastor and his wife flung candy canes out into the sanctuary for all the churchgoers to catch. Pastor said it was so we could stay awake for his sermon. Ha! She was also impressed by how friendly our church was and I have to say, I was too. People really went out of their way to introduce themselves to Jennie and really made her feel welcome. Thatís always nice to hear.

After church, we went back to our place where Jennie packed up to go home and we packed up to go to SBís family Christmas. We were laden with food and gifts and we both had a good, positive outlook.

We got lost trying to find BILís (From now on, all family members will be noted as BIL for Brother in law, or SIL for Sister in law or MIL for Mother in law, etc.) house, but did manage to find it in the long run. We hadnít been there before so we werenít sure how accessible it was and it turns out, itís a split-level, so SB had to climb stairs to get to the main area.

We sat around and talked before eating and then ate and talked some more. I was able to catch up on the lives of my BILs and SILs and nieces and nephews and was having a pretty good time. I took a card load of photos and then it was time to open presents. The little kids go first and itís always fun to watch them tear into everything. Then the adults open their gifts. They decide who goes first by either going from youngest to oldest or oldest to youngest. This year, they went youngest to oldest. My SIL is the baby of the family, but since SB married me, I became the youngest. A title that I thought had been overtaken by BILís girlfriend. She was born Dec 12, 1967 and I was born Dec 14th, 1967. Therefore, she is 2 days older than I am, but in the package opening frenzy, we forgot to include her in the line-up. Once we did include her, it was mistakenly pointed out that she was now the youngest! I donít know why that suddenly made me feel put out, but it did. It wasnít until the drive home that SB and I figured out that I was still the youngest of the adults. Silly, I know, but I like having my place as the youngest of his family, I think because I am the oldest of my family. Itís a nice order to have, at least in my estimation.

The drive home started out as a little more than tense though. SB somehow got the idea into his head that I was mad at him. That somehow over the course of the afternoon and evening, he said or did something to piss me off. Except he didnít. So, we ended up talking about it all the way home. It turns out that he wasnít feeling well and he was projecting a lot of stuff onto everytone there. I found out that mostly he just felt out of place and useless. He felt out of place because of his handicap and how once he gets up the stairs, he pretty much has to stay where he is. In addition, he felt he was stuck in the kitchen because there were always people or dogs sitting on the steps to the sunken living room and all the good chairs were taken. Thatís kind of what itís like living in a big family though so he didnít sweat it too much. But I wondered why he couldn't have just asked them to move or if he could sit in the chair? I know it frustrates him to have ot ask, but hey...we canít read his mind. I think mostly he just wasnít feeling well. However, he felt useless because of his handicap too. He canít really help carry stuff in or out of the house and he feels useless when he sees me struggling with carrying the bulk of it, or when he has to ask his sisters for help. Not that any of us mind helping. We really donít. He just struggles with losing his ability to do things he once had no problem with before. That, I canít really do anything about. I do sympathize with him though. I wish I could change how it is, but I canít. Finally, he felt left out because of some holiday plans his family was making in front of him that didnít include him at all. Not only that, but he felt like once they knew he was listening to their plans, they purposely excluded him. I tried to tell him how this is a tradition for them and that they arenít excluding him, just as he and his sister arenít excluding the others when they plan their trip to visit his sisterís son in FL in February. Not all of his family are invited on this trip, so itís not just him. But he felt as if they were purposely excluding him, which I am not convinced is the case. Itís just that there is only so much room and since these guys do this every year, itís kind of their thing. He understands that, he just feels jealous and left out. I can understand thatÖI HATE feeling left out. It really hurts my feelingsÖespecially if I perceive it as an intentional slightÖ, which I still donít think this is. Anyway, we got home safe and sound and all talked out and made up and feeling better. Itís so weird that we can think things are one way, when really they aren't that way at all. I still donít know why he thought I was mad at him. In fact, I pointed out that at one point, I came over to him, snuggled and kissed him and noted how warm he felt. He said he was overheated and wanted to stay by the door to the patio so he could go outside and get cool. So, I donít know why he was feeling so out of sorts, but Iím glad we talked out our part of it all.

OH! This is cool. When I was making up Sweet Babooís bed for our friend Jennieís visit, I noticed that there is a HUGE dent in the mattress on his bed. We just got his bed a month ago and the mattress is already dented from his body! Well, I sat down and prayed. I do this often when I donít know where else to go or what else to do. I should do it more, even if I have the resources because it would save a lot of heartache in the long run, but anyway! In my prayer I said we didnít have the means to buy a new mattress for this bed and what in the world were we going to do? I asked if this is something I could call the insurance company and medical equipment supplier about? I just asked God to provide. Then I promptly forgot about it. I had handed it over to God to deal with, so it was now His thing to handle.

When SB and I got home from his family shindig, I saw, there amongst the trash bins in our garage, a twin mattress and box spring! I went over to inspect the mattress and SB looked it over and deemed it acceptable enough to bring up to the apartment. It is still there. We are going to clean and frebreeze it up and try it out on his bed. If it works, Hallelujah! If not, we will keep praying. God is an amazing provider. This mattress is in fine shape if not a little dusty and stained from the trek to and from the garage. We will let you know how it goes.

In addition, our doctorís office sent us several Target gift cards because they had heard that we are having a hard time right now. They came at just the exact right moment. SB has been having a hard time managing his pain and he has been on the phone daily with them to try to come up with a solution that doesnít involve more co-pays and more pharmacy costs. To help us offset the costs of some of these things, they sent us the gift cards. Sweet!

So, thatís the update. Thanks for reading!

7:30 a.m. - Wednesday, Dec. 22, 2004


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