sunflowery's Diaryland Diary


Not Gonna Buy That Sandwhich

I haven't felt like writing here much lately. In other news, Happy St. Patrick's Day to y'all.

I went to my doctor on Tuesday. We covered the gammut (sp?) and here is what I found out. My back pain is normal for someone who has lost a lot of weight and whose body is trying to get used to the new way of carrying itself. It's muscular in nature and would do well with some strength training. And also, advil on occation.

Remember when I wrote that I have to be careful when I go to the bathroom so I position myself in such a way so as to not make a mess? Well, that too is normal. My doctor said that often women after childbirth go through the same thing. Who knew?

Finally, my anxiety breathing? Most likely due to depression and anxiety. My doctor said that they more often see a depression/anxiety combo than they see either one by itself. Again, who knew? So, it's back to my good old friend Celexa. Oh joy.

But I have to say that anxiety breathing is much better today. Probably because I had a mini breakdown last night. I can't get into it all here, mostly because it has to do with sex and conception and there are actual family members that read this and they don't need those pictures in their mind. But suffice it to say I wish there was another way to get pregnant other than sex...or another way to have sex so that the 2 things weren't intertwined with one another. It makes for a complicated scenerio which led to an argument with my husband and a mini breakdown for me which has left me with red puffy eyes yet this morning and a fatigue that has overridden anxiety least for today. I actually told my husband I would rather go back on the pill so that sex could just be sex again rather than risk what we went through last night another time. He strongly disagrees but asked me to wait 3 more months, which I will do.

Anyway, yeah. Depression. It's a hoot!

Oh and also, I am coming down with a cold. I started with the beginnings of yucky, scratchy throat yesterday afternoon. Today I am tired and achey and my head feels funny and my ears are all tingly and every now and then, I let out the huge barking cough. Yeah, that's fun too. Bob is also coming down with it, so who knows where we got it. I thought, maybe from work since the people I work with all have such powerful work ethics that they come in with every germ imaginable as they plug through their day. Who knows, I just hope it's a quick one that doesn't lead to any other fun illnesses like bronchitis or pneumonia.

I'm still hating the bacon chedder ranch commercials from BK. It seems to me the only people who can hang out at the BKBC Ranch are hot chicks with big boobs and bigger hair or males who gawk at the chicks with big boobs and hair. They are not selling me on this sandwhich. Plus, that king is still creepy.

Did anyone watch In The Womb on the National Geographic Channel last weekend? That was one amazing show. They now know that babies in the womb open and close their eyes, hiccup (Even though there is no real reason for them to hiccup), swallow and make chewing and sucking motions, and urinate. They also sleep about 90 percent of the time they are in there! It was fascinating!

Did anyone watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition on Sunday? Does everyone else cry during that show every week? That little girl was so amazing and inspiring. She had a very mature soul and sweet spirit. At first I was disappointed that Paul wasn't there, but when he showed up later, it made the whole episode for me. Paul is my secret celebrity boyfriend!

Work is still busy. New Girl still hasn't made an appearance. Temp Gal is amazing and makes us all wish we could hire her on full time and fire New Girl. Bob thinks New Girl is trying to work the system so that we fire her and she can sue us. Maybe, but apparently her gestational diabetes is running rampant and the doctors are not able to control it. Supposedly she has been in and out of the hospital every other day. That's not good, but it's also not good that she's saying she will show up on such and such a day only to have that day come and go with no word from her or her family for another day after that. So we're just left wondering and waiting and holding the bag until she shows up. Not to mention trying to keep up with our work as well as her work. It's a tad on the stressful side, but not so bad...yet.

Finally, let me just say that I am married to the most amazing man in the world. Without getting into it, I have married the most kind, loving, caring, compassionate man ever and don't deserve a tenth of the love he so selflessly gives me every day. In a million years I hoped to find love like this, but never thought it was possible. I just needed to get a shout out to him, in case he reads this and wonders how I feel. I tell him to his face every day...sometimes it feels good to hear it another way. I love you, Bob! You are every cheesey love metaphor in the world to me. (IE, you complete me, you are the wind beneath my wings, you are my love, my life, my breath, etc ad nausium.)

9:21 a.m. - Thursday, Mar. 17, 2005


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