sunflowery's Diaryland Diary


News Of The Day

It was a beautiful day here today. I spent it shopping which makes it 100 times better. June is busy in the gift department for us. We have a nephew's birthday, a couple of good friend's birthdays, my Dad's birthday, my Grandma's birthday and 2 Father's Day gifts. So, today I bought gifts for our dads and the birthday gift for the good friend and lots of cards. Nice to get out of the house, especially on such a beautiful day.

I can't believe how fast this week went. I go back to work on Monday. Every other week went so slow, but of course, this week had to speed by. But actually, I am ready to go back. I would like one more week home, but I think Bob and I would kill each other. He never gets out of the house and he's been driving me crazy the past couple of days. We got into a small argument today, in fact. But it ended well with a small bouquet of pink roses being purchased and gifted to me! Have I mentioned how much I love flowers? So, work next week? A good thing for us both.

A weird thing happened today. I was sitting in our living room watching TV when our smoke alarm went off for no noticible reason. It beeped 3 times and then started to chirp. After the initial shock, I went to check it out thinking the battery was dying. As I unscrewed the alarm from the base, I was trying to think back to the last time we changed the battery when a BUNCH of water poured out on top of me. It was then that I noticed our alarm is hard wired into the ceiling. Thinking electricity and water are not usually a good mix, I got down and called the office. The office manager laughed at me, not believing what I was telling her. Of course! Why would water be pouring out of our smoke alarm? But it was true and now there was obvious water damage ringing around the alarm and water dripping from the ceiling. She said she would call the maintenence man to come out and look at it.

In the meantime, the alarm started to go off again, probably beacuse it had dried out enough to stop chirping. Bob placed our big, windy fan underneath it and it FINALLY stopped going off. 5 minutes later, the fix-it guy showed up. He went upstairs to see what had happened to cause the downpour. It seems the gal above us had showered and the curtain was not in place and water pooled in her bathroom. Still, what kind of crappily built place is this that a pool of water above us causes such damage? Anyway, it's fixed now...for now.

I made a YUMMY dinner tonight. I cut up 2 potatoes into 8 slices each. I put them in a shallow pan and poured a 1/2 cup of olive oil over them and then a half cup of parm cheese mixed with Lowry's and garlic salt to coat. I put them in the oven at 375 for 45 minutes. While they baked, I put in a TBSP of olive oil into the pan, cut a half of a small onion and put them in the pan with one clove of garlic. I added a half a cup of apple juice. That cooked down and I added a half a can of stewed tomatos. That cooked for about 5 minutes. While that cooked, I took out a 1/2 pound of fresh talapia, rinsed the cutluts, dried them off and the rubbed Mrs. Dash's lemon pepper on each one and then flavored with fresh crushed black pepper. Then I put the fish in the frying pan and cooked it for another 4 minutes on each side before putting the whole thing in the oven for 17 minutes. The potatoes and fish came out at the same time and it was all so yummy tasty. The only bad thing is that I have to eat such tiny little bites. I ate 2 fries and a corner of the fish. But it was fabulous!

Oh! Another weird thing happened last night. I was lying in bed waiting for Bob, the light was on and all of a sudden, in my peripheral vision, I see our closet door slide open. Our pretty but not so bright cat, Daisy has figured out how to slide the closet doors open and has the kitty muscle to do it! She opens it only wide enough so she can slide in, but it's enough for her. Maisey has been trying to accomplish this feat since we first brought her home. It must be a case of brawn over brains in this case.

Also, today, I tried on my wedding dress for the first time since marrying Bob. I am still a little bit heavier than when we got married, but MAN I love me that dress. I would live in that dress if I could. I would wear it out to parties, to work, to other weddings if it was socially acceptable. I was thinking of having a party where couple wear their wedding clothes, just so I can wear that dress again. I'm only partially kidding here. I LOVE that dress.

Here are some links to some of the better news stories today. Check them out and know that you're life can't be as bad as all that with people like this out there.

Woman Bites Off Man's Tongue During Kiss.

> It's About Time, Jerk!

All Over a Bike!

Thank God For Cell Phones.

That, 4 total murders in the past 24 hours and on the TV news, they had a guy with CP whose handicapped accessible van and motorized chair were stolen right out of his driveway!

What is the world coming to anyway?


A Year Ago Today: June 17, 2003

OK, I was all set to go into work rant mode as some things have been crazy around here today and SM is in a snit and driving me up the wall. But I just got a call from my husband who got a call from a dear friend of ours and her problems FAR outweigh anything I could blow off steam about here.

This woman is so kind and so dear. She is not perfect by any means (As none of us are). But she has a heart of gold and really tries to be all God has for her to be. Just under a year ago, she married a man she had been dating for quite a while. He had his problems, but they were working them out in counseling. They really seemed to want to be ready for the challenges of marriage. In fact, I think they were seeing 2 counselors at once for a time. Anyway, they seemed to do everything right. They dated a long time, had a fairly good period of engagement and went to counseling. They seemed so very much in love and their wedding was just wonderful. They only had eyes for each other and just seemed so happy.

This woman was around 40 when they got married. She grew up in a Chrisian home and believed in personal purity and she saved herself for her husband. All those years and she waited until she met, fell in love, and married a man before she made love. She was so happy!

Red flags were raised on their wedding night. As they were experimenting with touch and whatnot, he just stopped. Right in the middle. He got up, said it wasn't working for him and that he was going for a walk. As you can imagine, this hurt her immensely. She called him a jerk and cried. (He held that jerk comment over her for months and months.)

2 months after the wedding he began to change. He began to pick her apart. Telling her she was too fat (She wasn't) and that she didn't cook well (she didn't, but she worked 40+ hours a week outside the home while he worked -20 in the home.) He told her he never loved her and didn't love her now. That he wished he hadn't married her. That he thought God had told him to marry her, but that now he knew he was deceived by the devil into marrying her. He moved into the basement and out of their room and their bed.

Through all of this, she has stuck by him. Wanting to make it work. They went back to counseling. She prayed and prayed. They sought the counsel of friends and family members. They put on a brave front.

They had a scare once when she left for the weekend and, according to him, she didn't tell him where she was going or when she'd be back. It turns out that she had gone to her parent's cabin up north. But he seemed rattled and scared and it seemed, at least on the surface, to bring him to his senses.

Throughout all of this, my husband and I have prayed for and with them. I have talked to her and Bob has talked to him. We have gotten his side and her side. And while we realize both went into the relationship thinking they could change the other (a basic no-no) and both made some terrible and hurtful mistakes, he seems to be the one that is just completely rocking the boat here. It's as if he can only see her mistakes and her problems. He won't take responsibility for any of his own. Even if he does admit to one or two, he justifies them by saying it was because of her or it's her fault.

Bob and I both remember how lonely and sad he was before they met and started dating. He wanted to meet someone, fall in love and marry so badly. He prayed for that and we prayed for that for him. He told us God answered his prayers with this woman.

But now he claims he was deceived. It's as if he thinks that an answered prayer from God doesn't come with its own responsibilities. God brought him the woman, but he still has to be the man God wants him to be. Just because he has a wife, doesn't mean she will be all Stepford and serve his every waking whim and need without complaint or needs of her own. He just baffles me.

So, anyway, this woman called Bob this morning and told him that her husband of 11 months and 3 weeks had taken all of their wedding photos, even the ones in the frames and in her wallet and burned them. HE BURNED THEIR WEDDING PHOTOS! He has been out late every night, living as though he were single. He told her not to talk to him. Not to say a word to him. He said he wouldn't be responsible for what he did if she talked to him. She asked if that meant she should carry her cell with her so she could call 911 at a moment's notice. He told her that she could call, but he'd be 10 steps ahead of them and all they would find when they arrived would be a beaten body!

Bob told her to leave. To get out of that house and go somewhere safe. That he is escalating in his weird behavior and now he is a supreme danger to her. She said she would but that he is actually out of town for the next 2 weeks or so.

But get this...she called Bob, not just to tell him what's been going on, but to ask if I could give her the negatives of the photos I took from their wedding so she could get reprints. She still wants pictures of this guy! She still wants to be married to him. I understand not wanting to give up after trying to work so hard at something for the past 11 months...especially when this was her first go at it...but now It's just scary. I am truly afraid for her.

Once, a while ago, Bob told me that he fears getting a call one day from someone saying that the husband murdered the wife. I remember laughing and thinking that was just out of the question. He might be weird and completely self absorbed, but he wouldn't kill his wife. Now I'm sure Bob is right. This guy is completely unstable and she needs to get out.

One of the sad things is, she moved into his house. And they both gave up a lot of material stuff and bought stuff together. How do you separate this stuff? They have a joint bank account and she always made more money than he did. What will happen to that? It's just so scary.

Bob offered for her to come and stay with us, but we have a cat and she's allergic. So he urged her to call a woman at the church and take her up on her offer to stay there. They have an extra room and no kitties. I hope she does. Bob was going to call her back and get her cell phone number so I could call her when I get home.

I can't even imagine going through this stuff. I wish this wasn't happening. Especially to her.

Bob is so the exact opposite of her husband. In fact, we were just talking about this yesterday. We have enough in common to have fun together and enough that is opposite to be interesting:-). We love being married to each other and really are amazed at the teamwork and love we live in.

This is from a note Bob put in my lunch:

"My heart will never be the same, for I now truly know what love is. You have shown me that It's more than a word or emotions. You have shown me it is something you live our daily. Sure, it is nice to hear the words "I love you", but oh how wonderfully sweet it is to see it modeled out daily in actions, deeds and touch. I am incredebly blessed to even be able to know you, let alone be married to you. It is a privilege and an honor to be your husband. I love you Princess! Thank you for saying yes!"

I am indeed a fortunate woman.

Thanks for reading.

10:54 p.m. - Thursday, Jun. 17, 2004


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